Couples: Love Vs. Standard?!

How many times you were right in a conflict with your spouse or your partner?
How many times you had the right to stay angry and upset for his or her wrong doing?

See, many times we act as if we all righteous and standard holders of law. We forgot sometimes that our relationships of love are far more important than holding in the wrong person in the corner.
We tend to hold our standard to a higher level than our love. Instead of humbling ourselves in order to restore the relationship, we tend to stand higher looking down on our partners whom have sinned against us. We forget many times that our partners is in need of our love much more than our condemnation. We tend to disapprove their behavior and enlarge an attack on them or for the most part we act like the victims who have all rights to hold.

Have you questioned yourselves, what Jesus did in the same situation?

Did he stood up high pointing the fingers to our wrong doing? Instead, he thought that his relationship with us is far more important that just sitting and watching us living in our wrong doing. He humbled himself in order to pay off what we owe to standard and love us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. John 3:16
Do you realize that when you hold your rights more importantly than your love, you are not doing God’s work, yet you are doing the work of evil.
The evil hold us wrong in place; in captivity. But Jesus does it so differently, he frees us of any wrong doing by his love. Amazing way isn’t?

Jesus had all rights and power to stay mad and angry at us for our wrong doing. But with his love he freed us in order for us to become more like him (righteous as he is)
Instead of holding up standard vs love, how about holding a righteous love that is stronger than any wrong doing of a person needs. Love one another and hold your relationship up more importantly than any wrong doing of your partners.

Love Vs. Standard?! Choose carefully, becuase the one you choose could have a long affect on your relationship. The question insn't how many times you were right in a conflict with your spouse or your partner? It is, How many times you loved them when they were wrong?

Montreal 2009

Sunday School Conference

Couples: Swim Against the Current

Let me start by asking you, do you have the power in your hand? Or you allow the negative trend take control of your life?
Do you have the energy and courage to stand strong and turn the wheel back in the right way?

See, sometimes we face one wrong thing after the other in our marriage and relationships. It may feel like a negative charge that pulling you in it. It feels like a spinning water that is sucking all of the goodness out of your Love life or friendship. The tricky part is sometimes we tend to ignore the first attack and the second. And by the time we realize it, it kinda late to do any thing. But the worse part that we tend to negatively contribute to the problem.

It may feels so overwhelming that you just want to close all your senses to avoid the pain and the headache the accompany it. Truth to be said, that your joy with the your relationships will slowly dissipate.
The easy way is to react every anger with anger, every misspoken word with another. It is easy to defend ourselves against attacks. But that is exactly what is "spinning water" does. It gains energy from within. It drawn you and your relationship below surface. Don't allow yourselves to be part a spinning water and drawn yourselves.

But let me tell you, it is too never late. It is better to try to stop the negative spin from taking control of your relationship, than you start watching it sucking you and your marriage. Stretch your arms to God who gave you the courage to stop this negative attacks and attack it back with every Good and Love that Holy Spirit puts in us.

God did not give us the spirit of failure. Do not be like a dead fish that swims with the current, but be a healthy in charge and swim against the current and make your victory known in Christ.
Remember God promise to us "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

Let me encourage you and say that "No Fear of Failure is the ability to take a risk and keep the focus and attention on our call and obedience, you can do every thing through him". So don't spin with the current, spin out of it. God has give us the power to turn our life the other way and make it the way he intend to be. Joyful, and content. Take today a positive step and turn back the other cheek and love one another as the Lord command us. Do it first and don't ask something in return.

July 4th Conference

Blessed times in the annual Arabic Evangelical Baptist church.

Couples: A fight that must be won?

In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves…self-discipline with all of them came first.

We always concern about who won over who. We want others including our spouses to change, but we hardly get concerned when it comes to a flight with ourselves in order to change our bad habits.

How many times did you wrestle with yourselves in order to change one bad habit?

Are you blaming the lack of motivation, because you do have it?! You want to be happier in your relationship with your spouse, Don't you?

Did you consider changing a habit as an expression of love to your spouse?

Are you complaining about how hard it is? Well, it should be hard. Good things aren't easy.

Or are you just saying, my spouse should accept me as I am. Well if you think so, then you need to reconsider your understanding of marriage. Marriage isn't about you, Marriage is about the other person.

We all think that we will live happy life, expecting that our spouse won't find any thing wrong with us. But we fail to think, is my spouse happy with me. Or we just concern with our own happiness. Remember some thing very important happened that you got married, is the day you died in order to let the marriage grow.

Now, lets take few serious steps to consider our spouse happiness:

1. Write a list of things, you know that need to get ride of.


2. Plan on working on getting ride of one habit at a time.


3. Inform your spouse about your plan, and ask for his or her encouragements
   If you fail a few times, quickly express sorrow and start all over.

With this process, you will have a plan to work with, and at the same time you will have your spouse in mind, understanding and appreciation. Remember, if you want to win a fight, there is more important fight to win more than the one against ourselves.

Couples: Forgive me I don't mean it...

"A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else." (unknow)

The Blame Game in. action

" Forgive me, it was n0t on purpose." Have you heard these words too many times from your spouse? Did you get frustrated with him or her when you hear it?

Is is easy for you to just say, Sorry, I don't mean it in order to get out of the situation? Do you use this as an excuse for your continues mistakes? Or you just got used saying it.

I encourage you to take a stand with your self and take a serious steps to fix what could be a continuing damage to your relationship with your spouse. It is easy to blame any thing but yourself, Only the brave ones who can hold themselves accountable. Be responsible and take action, a positive action to not only keep the relationship going, but instead play an effective role in growing it.

Psalm 66:18 says "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened"

Do you realize that sinning against your spouse is a sin against your God. This should put on us the responsibility to treat it with seriousness.

Repenting to God is letting Go of our old ways,,, as much he forgive us when we fall back he says in Psalms that is we continue in our sin, he would not listen to us.

As for the stronger spouse, be patient with your weak spouse. Remember to Think Potential and have encouraging love...

Lastly let me say that, we should not abuse our spouse's love and forgiveness. We should love them back by trying harder things to avoid those blameless mistakes with a serious and effectiveness. As Paul question the Romans in Rom 6:15 "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

Pray for the changes that need to take place. Try to take serious steps to improve the relationship and mostly, be sorry when you wrong, and stop the blaming game.