fireflies and songs by Sara Groves

I simply love this song:

Thirty years ago I was a little girl
Riding in the back seat of the car.
A woman sang 'You don't bring me flowers anymore.'
I felt the sadness in my little heart.

We're looking for the music
In the music box,
Tearing it to pieces,
Trying to find a song.

I was drawn to you in ways I can't explain.
I fought like crazy but I couldn't stay away.
Piled on expectations and lots of blame,
like we couldn't do it any other way.

We're looking for a firefly
Moving through the night,
Staring at that one place
Swear it never lights.

We're looking for the music
In the music box,
Tearing it to pieces,
Trying to find a song.

Were you surprised our hearts were not like ticking clocks?
The faces and hands easy to read.
We both wished 'if only in the land of Oz.'
And longed for things we'd never really need.

Now we're standing in the kitchen,
All pretense is gone.
You kiss me on the shoulder.
Fireflies and songs.

Strom learning moments

Working the storm the last few days tough me few things.

Let me first say meeting 21 men for The first time whom any one of them doubt or triple your size at first is a bit scary.

Leading those totally strange men right after we just met even put more pressure and challenging. These situations really put me to test. It challenges me to the leader I should be and act in confidence. Being in a totally different and strange environment for ( long island ) adds to the challenges. Dealing with all this tough me to slow down, take a minute to think before making any decisions. But it also let me exercise my leadership to stick with those decision even when those big guys some times object.

Aside from the tough character I had to dress in, meeting those customers who had no lights for almost a week made me wear another dress on. I had to show compassion yet, I had the challenge to balance my compassion with doing the right thing during that tough time when every one looking for my leadership to act on spot.

Another thing I learned is once I realize that I made a mistake I rush to fix it. There was no room for making mistakes with I am responsible for the safety of 21 men. But at any point I needed to change course, I had to quick to fix it.

After all, I thank God for his protection over me, He loves me so much that despite my ignorance He Mercy me.

Couples: The Power of Choice

Sinning against one another isn't the plan for couples. God's plan for us in marriage to be one as He wanted us to be one with Him.
Adam and Eve choose to sin against God and believe it or not we choose to sin against one another in marriage. The result is known, separation between God and man, a separation between couples.

The amazing thing is when Adam and Eve sinned against God, they went hiding, but God is his mercy called on him. He didn't burn him in anger flames nor he killed him. Instead God initiated a conversion with him, the result was ground rules for Adam and Eve to live by and a promise of redemption. Yet, Adam and Eve didn't run away from the consequence of their mistakes.

Again, in marriage, when we sin against one another, many times we choose to not talk to the one who had hurt us. we refuse to start the conversion. We ignore one another. On the other hand we should express mercy, offer ways to solve the problem.

We aren't going to be ONE again until we repent. I said repent, not express sorry. True repentance brings back to the relationship with God. In marriage, we expect pain and hurt TO go away quickly as we say sorry, and that could be true sometimes. However, true oneness does not come with words, repentance is a chance of direction, and change of behavior.

So, today, I remind you to choose not to sin, against your spouse, and if  you did, I would choose to repent, knowing that repentance wouldn't redeem me from consequences.
Today, I remind you that even when you are hurt, that you would choose to talk about your hurt and express mercy.
Today, choose to become true one with your spouse.

Couple: Informed Vs. Transformed

Okay, lets consider all of us informed. We all know that we are getting married to be one with our mate and to live happily ever after. We all know that we should love our spouse without any conditions. Sounds good just like the movies.

Yet, many of us are not transformed. Transformation is actually means, walking to talk.

Here is a few reasons stopping us from being transformed:

- Where there is Pride, there is no oneness. I would not say sorry.

- Simply fear. We are scared of being the nice person in the relationship, so my spouse will walk all over me.

- I am Right, He/She is Wrong, why should I?

- I am not happy... focusing on your expectation of marriage

- You just waiting for him or her to make the first move

Here are few steps toward transformation:

- Work on the relationship as you are the only one in it. Love as much as you would like to be loved.

- Make the first move always

- Remember you be happier when you mike him or her happier

- Always fight with goal to solve the problem, and don't fight to only win

- Truly love one another without any condition

- Thank God for having her, and thank God for having him, learn to appreciate one another

- Learn from your mistakes

- Be patient, transformation takes time and need consistency

So, take the first step today to transform yourself, because no one can transform you unless you want to.

Couples: Loving any way!

But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!

But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.
... Or Anyway

Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?

Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called to anyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.

But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.

That's love, the way God intended it.

Couples: Are you allowed you to breath?

Are you out to get him? Or are you waiting for her to make a mistake? Do you have the plan already to count her mistakes or his?

Allow each other to make mistakes, and allow your self to forgive one another. Why would you allow your spouse to make mistakes? The reasons are simple, we don't learn the easy way... God allow us to make mistakes to allow us to trust him and learn. He also use our mistakes to express his love to us. If you don't let your spouse make mistakes, how would you express love to him or her during that time.

It is a blessing to forgive one another.. it is amazing demonstration of love when you forgive one another.

When someone make a mistake, it is like standing naked in front of you and your forgiveness is the cloth you give to him or her to cover up... that is Godly love..

In << 1 Corinthians 13:5 >> says "It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

That is something very challenging to me, Not easily angered, and no keeping record of wrong. Sounds very hard to me, I know. But we have a great example to follow.

< Proverbs 29:11 >> "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." When I read this, I really feel ashamed, and makes me want to pray even harder for God's wisdom.

So how many times should I forgive? Matthew 18:21-35Then Peter came to Jesus and asked,

"Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

We all need to remember one important thing, when we get married we become one with our spouse. Many of use including myself forget this during our fights and count mistakes. But the thing that need to always to be remember is that our Oneness isn't something easy, and confessing and forgiving come hand in hand to keep that oneness hold.

Allow your spouse to make mistakes, and allow your self to bless him or her with the mercy of forgiveness. It is an amazing journey that starts by accepting (yet not approving) one another and love one another. Make your spouse feel accepted even when they are at they lowest point. Open those arms as they confess their mistakes to you. Love them the Godly love that forgives. Build the truth between the two of you.

1 on 1 with Lori. Argyle & Apricots. Pt. 3

Sadly, that is our third and last part with the our guest post Lori... Gosh,,, It has been learning journey, I know that I took a few notes.. I hope it inspired you as it did for us.

Once said "The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words: I did not have time." How you deal with time management? And how you see this relating to marriage?
My husband travels Monday through Thursday to Northern California for his job. It has put great urgency on us to make sure that we are spending quality time together when he is in town. I have recently changed my role at work so that I no longer work on Sundays which now gives us one more day together.

How much you pray with your husband? How much you pray for him?
I pray for him every morning in my quiet time, especially when he is traveling. Gracie and I pray for him in her bedtime prayers and Dan leads our prayers at night before we go to bed.

How you see the role of prayers in your life and you husband life?
It is extremely important. We learned once at a marriage conference how important it is to pray over your spouse daily. Since Danny travels during the week, it is a habit that we are unable to keep up but when he is home and we are holding each other and praying, it makes not only our day better but it also brings us closer.

If there is any advice you would like to give to newly married couple, what it would be?
Accept that things will change a bit. Women, know that hair on your husband will grow in places you did not know had hair before you got married. Men, the shower drain will clog more than you ever imagined it could depending on the length of your wives hair.

I always say, that marriage with difficulties is a living marriage? What are your thoughts?
How you deal with conflict? How you can make the best out of it?
I think conflict is healthy in a marriage as long as you agree to disagree. We all have our own opinions and as long as issues are resolved and not hidden to the point they erupt later, it is perfectly normal to have conflict. A good debate gets the blood flowing and always makes for a great “make up” time later.

If you can't get enough from Lori, make sure to keep checking Lori's blog...Argyle & Apricots

Thank you so much Lori for being part of our blog and our learning experiences.