July 4th Conference

Blessed times in the annual Arabic Evangelical Baptist church.

Couples: A fight that must be won?

In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves…self-discipline with all of them came first.

We always concern about who won over who. We want others including our spouses to change, but we hardly get concerned when it comes to a flight with ourselves in order to change our bad habits.

How many times did you wrestle with yourselves in order to change one bad habit?

Are you blaming the lack of motivation, because you do have it?! You want to be happier in your relationship with your spouse, Don't you?

Did you consider changing a habit as an expression of love to your spouse?

Are you complaining about how hard it is? Well, it should be hard. Good things aren't easy.

Or are you just saying, my spouse should accept me as I am. Well if you think so, then you need to reconsider your understanding of marriage. Marriage isn't about you, Marriage is about the other person.

We all think that we will live happy life, expecting that our spouse won't find any thing wrong with us. But we fail to think, is my spouse happy with me. Or we just concern with our own happiness. Remember some thing very important happened that you got married, is the day you died in order to let the marriage grow.

Now, lets take few serious steps to consider our spouse happiness:

1. Write a list of things, you know that need to get ride of.


2. Plan on working on getting ride of one habit at a time.


3. Inform your spouse about your plan, and ask for his or her encouragements
   If you fail a few times, quickly express sorrow and start all over.

With this process, you will have a plan to work with, and at the same time you will have your spouse in mind, understanding and appreciation. Remember, if you want to win a fight, there is more important fight to win more than the one against ourselves.

Couples: Forgive me I don't mean it...

"A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else." (unknow)

The Blame Game in. action

" Forgive me, it was n0t on purpose." Have you heard these words too many times from your spouse? Did you get frustrated with him or her when you hear it?

Is is easy for you to just say, Sorry, I don't mean it in order to get out of the situation? Do you use this as an excuse for your continues mistakes? Or you just got used saying it.

I encourage you to take a stand with your self and take a serious steps to fix what could be a continuing damage to your relationship with your spouse. It is easy to blame any thing but yourself, Only the brave ones who can hold themselves accountable. Be responsible and take action, a positive action to not only keep the relationship going, but instead play an effective role in growing it.

Psalm 66:18 says "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened"

Do you realize that sinning against your spouse is a sin against your God. This should put on us the responsibility to treat it with seriousness.

Repenting to God is letting Go of our old ways,,, as much he forgive us when we fall back he says in Psalms that is we continue in our sin, he would not listen to us.

As for the stronger spouse, be patient with your weak spouse. Remember to Think Potential and have encouraging love...

Lastly let me say that, we should not abuse our spouse's love and forgiveness. We should love them back by trying harder things to avoid those blameless mistakes with a serious and effectiveness. As Paul question the Romans in Rom 6:15 "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

Pray for the changes that need to take place. Try to take serious steps to improve the relationship and mostly, be sorry when you wrong, and stop the blaming game.

July 4th Weekend Retreat Blessings

It was a blessing weekend for me and my wife to attend the annual conference @ arabic church.

The weekend was an amazing mix of good worship, prayers and speakers. Many of them challenged us in knowing God for who he is and not only for what he can offer. Other challenged us in seeking God in every thing and all things.

The Fact that many of us has double lives; the Sunday Christan's life and the rest of the week life opened my eyes and put me to shame on how we fail presenting God to every person we encounter.

So, if you attended the conference, please take a moment reflecting on the things that touched your heart and if you like to comment and share it with us that would be a blessing.

Couples: 101 Conflict Resolution

Have you got in an argument lately with your spouse? How it went? Did you land safely from the high tension or end up hurting each other even more?

Reading Conflict Resolution yesterday,  I thought I share it with you. I also added my own thoughts to some of it.

Seven ideas for handling conflict in a constructive way:

1. Confront the person or issue directly and honestly.
Matthew 18:15-17. 15"If your brother sins against you,[a] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[b] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

2. Don't go looking for trouble.
Proverbs 3:30 Do not accuse a man for no reason— when he has done you no harm.

3. Agree with the person if at all possible.Matthew 5:25 "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.

4. Mediate the issue.Have an open discussion about the matter with fairness? When solution is reached, spend time to see what lesson could be learned.

5. Take the issue to the Lord and leave it there. Ask God to intervene.1 Samuel 2:25 If a man sins against another man, God may mediate for him.

6. Listen with your eyes, not paying attention to your spouse when he or she is hurt is devastating.

7. Be each other helper during conflict, help one another to overcome the pain by being extra gentle and loving.James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.