Couples: The Power of Choice

Sinning against one another isn't the plan for couples. God's plan for us in marriage to be one as He wanted us to be one with Him.
Adam and Eve choose to sin against God and believe it or not we choose to sin against one another in marriage. The result is known, separation between God and man, a separation between couples.

The amazing thing is when Adam and Eve sinned against God, they went hiding, but God is his mercy called on him. He didn't burn him in anger flames nor he killed him. Instead God initiated a conversion with him, the result was ground rules for Adam and Eve to live by and a promise of redemption. Yet, Adam and Eve didn't run away from the consequence of their mistakes.

Again, in marriage, when we sin against one another, many times we choose to not talk to the one who had hurt us. we refuse to start the conversion. We ignore one another. On the other hand we should express mercy, offer ways to solve the problem.

We aren't going to be ONE again until we repent. I said repent, not express sorry. True repentance brings back to the relationship with God. In marriage, we expect pain and hurt TO go away quickly as we say sorry, and that could be true sometimes. However, true oneness does not come with words, repentance is a chance of direction, and change of behavior.

So, today, I remind you to choose not to sin, against your spouse, and if  you did, I would choose to repent, knowing that repentance wouldn't redeem me from consequences.
Today, I remind you that even when you are hurt, that you would choose to talk about your hurt and express mercy.
Today, choose to become true one with your spouse.

Couple: Informed Vs. Transformed

Okay, lets consider all of us informed. We all know that we are getting married to be one with our mate and to live happily ever after. We all know that we should love our spouse without any conditions. Sounds good just like the movies.

Yet, many of us are not transformed. Transformation is actually means, walking to talk.

Here is a few reasons stopping us from being transformed:

- Where there is Pride, there is no oneness. I would not say sorry.

- Simply fear. We are scared of being the nice person in the relationship, so my spouse will walk all over me.

- I am Right, He/She is Wrong, why should I?

- I am not happy... focusing on your expectation of marriage

- You just waiting for him or her to make the first move

Here are few steps toward transformation:

- Work on the relationship as you are the only one in it. Love as much as you would like to be loved.

- Make the first move always

- Remember you be happier when you mike him or her happier

- Always fight with goal to solve the problem, and don't fight to only win

- Truly love one another without any condition

- Thank God for having her, and thank God for having him, learn to appreciate one another

- Learn from your mistakes

- Be patient, transformation takes time and need consistency

So, take the first step today to transform yourself, because no one can transform you unless you want to.

Couples: Loving any way!

But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!

But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.
... Or Anyway

Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?

Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called to anyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.

But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.

That's love, the way God intended it.

Couples: Are you allowed you to breath?

Are you out to get him? Or are you waiting for her to make a mistake? Do you have the plan already to count her mistakes or his?

Allow each other to make mistakes, and allow your self to forgive one another. Why would you allow your spouse to make mistakes? The reasons are simple, we don't learn the easy way... God allow us to make mistakes to allow us to trust him and learn. He also use our mistakes to express his love to us. If you don't let your spouse make mistakes, how would you express love to him or her during that time.

It is a blessing to forgive one another.. it is amazing demonstration of love when you forgive one another.

When someone make a mistake, it is like standing naked in front of you and your forgiveness is the cloth you give to him or her to cover up... that is Godly love..

In << 1 Corinthians 13:5 >> says "It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

That is something very challenging to me, Not easily angered, and no keeping record of wrong. Sounds very hard to me, I know. But we have a great example to follow.

< Proverbs 29:11 >> "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." When I read this, I really feel ashamed, and makes me want to pray even harder for God's wisdom.

So how many times should I forgive? Matthew 18:21-35Then Peter came to Jesus and asked,

"Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

We all need to remember one important thing, when we get married we become one with our spouse. Many of use including myself forget this during our fights and count mistakes. But the thing that need to always to be remember is that our Oneness isn't something easy, and confessing and forgiving come hand in hand to keep that oneness hold.

Allow your spouse to make mistakes, and allow your self to bless him or her with the mercy of forgiveness. It is an amazing journey that starts by accepting (yet not approving) one another and love one another. Make your spouse feel accepted even when they are at they lowest point. Open those arms as they confess their mistakes to you. Love them the Godly love that forgives. Build the truth between the two of you.

Couples: Are You Cheating on your Spouse?

Yes, Are you cheating on your spouse?
Are you loving your spouse all you heart, mind and soul.

What is holding you back from loving your spouse, YES, YES, I know you love your partner. But, I am taking about truly love them. Does your work take away from your spouse? Do you make time for him or her to spent together? Do you know of something that he or she likes, and you are lazy to do it.

Let’s step through the five ways that are given to us by the Lord Jesus Himself in Mark 12:30-31 (that He combined together and quoted from Deuteronomy 6:4-5 and Leviticus 19:18).
And you shall love the Lord your God:

•with all your heart,
•with all your soul,
•with all you mind,
•with all your strength, …
and … love your neighbor as yourself.

When bible calls to love the Lord to love him with all our heart. ( Do you have that person in the center of your life)

Soul, Why soul... did you eve hear the words, I love you you with every breath. Breath is life source and can't live without... Can you see yourself living without your breath or your spouse?

Why God used the word mind, I think he wanted us to love him not only when we feel like loving him... see, emotions goes up and down just like waves in the sea. But, minds aren't like that.

When you love your spouse with your mind, then no matter how things between you, good or bad, you will continue to love him or her. Don't let emotions lead your love live. Let the mind to be certain of what you do.

Lastly strength...See love don't stop at heart, mind or soul... to bring all this together, you need to express it. You need to show it. When you love someone with all your strength, your will have the courage to take every step to show it. So, express love with every way, be creative and show it.

God says, do every thing as you we working for Jesus. Do you love your spouse this way? Are you honest in your feelings toward your spouse? Is there any thing holding you back from loving your spouse completely?

Colossians 3:17 & 23 "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." Are you complaining too much? Are you loving caring your spouse with the spirit of loving God himself? Are you putting every effort in loving your spouse?

Lastly, Jesus commanded us to love your neighbor as ourselves. If so, shouldn't we love our spouses like loving ourselves. If you love yourself, you will love your spouse. You will work harder for you and your partner to become more like one.

Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing. What an amazing challenge for us all, to love without complaining.

So, I chellenge you to stop cheating your spouse and give them every thing.. Give them yourselves, don't cheat them of any bit of it.

Couples: Winner in the transaction.

Pastor and preachers every where speak so much about love.... however the last few days I been talking to my self about a new concept (to me ofcourse) LOVE= INITIATION.

When pastors and preaches speaks about LOVE in the concept of relationships many explains how it is about Giving and Taking. But many of them fails to explain that Giving comes first. Giving is personsal responsibility that is task oriented matter that should be taken seriously.

Love isn't about giving and talking, because if you give when the expectation is to receive or take something back, it won't be love any more. it would be like a service contract with many lines that rules the relationship to do this, and I do that.

That is why, Jesus teach so much about how we should love other, like we love ourselves.. and how we should love our enemies whom never will return love back.

few days a go, a good and long time friend post this verse on her facebook: "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

Wow, the words are loud and clear.... when you care and love, you should not even consider what it given in return... Jesus Commend us to give, and give good, because that is how we are going to get paid back. Just like he command us to forgive because we will be forgiven according to our forgiveness to others...

God really put the responsibility on us. LOVE IS PERSONAL ACTION AND INITIATION is the key word. The words are clear, don't worry about when you are getting in return. simply give good. Love good, and give more.

My friend said "When I read that verse today, I thought we do not think about how much we gave in comparison to what we have. But we think about I did give, I did good, I'm a giving person."
So true, we don't measure how much we have, nor we think of how we give. The command is clear give good and don't even think or concern yourself of what in it for me.

Society teaches against those exact words of the bible. Society is about how much I ma getting back and how much I have to do to get it. Sometimes in our relationships we do that. We say to our partners, you do this and in return I will do that. We end up living according to the society rules and not the biblical way of love equal initiation.
Society is about measurements and who is the winner is the transaction. But in a relationship, there is not single winner and loser. the team either win or lose. The words are clear, GIVE, GOOD, PRESS, SHAKE. All verbs are telling us to do something, not to expect any thing.

So, today, take charge of your relationship destiny, work hard, give more, press forward and shake all troubles. take INITIATIONS and love into your own hands. After all Jesus took initiative in loving us and dying for us on the cross. He didn't expect much from us.

Couples: The sweetest email I ever recevied

I had to share this with the world, becuase it made me feel so good and it said so much about what is marriage is all about. I won't comment or say any thing, it speaks for it self.

From: "Joicy"
Date: Dec 1, 2009 8:08 AM
Subject: Re: FW:
To: "Moody"

"I Thank God for you cause you are my man.....even if I trip on your shibshib or leave your shoes in the family room, or the desk is full of papers or if you eat triple what I eat, or if you are too tall that I can not reach to kiss you :)"

Good article!!!" this article inspired Joicy to send me this email and go for it and read it, it will have the same effect.
From the blog Heart for Him by Sandra
http://sandrapeoples.blogspot.com/2009/11/you-marry-man.html

Couples: Make dreams come ture

See marriage suppose to be there to help making dreams come true. The question is, are you helping your spouse getting there. Are you holding your spouse back or are you encourage him or her to be what she or he want to be.

Show the love you have for your spouse by asking him or her about their dreams. Express interest that you want to be part of their dream or at least be there to support them.

Do you think about your spouse happiness? Do you know what makes him or her happy? If you think you know, you still need to ask. Expressing such interest is the key to express love.

Once you find out what is it their dream, work hard to be a helping hand in achieving it. There is nothing more valuable to show caring and love to one another.

Here is anther advise, if you spouse does not have any specifics on goals or dreams. Then go talk the second step. Ask them to create a dream or a goal together, think of something that you both like to create, make and achieve. This way, that dream will aligns your thoughts and bring even closers.

Couples: Trust & Risk!! Given or Earned??

Trust is something entrusted in all aspects of our lives; dating, friendships, family members, co-workers, and on and on. Trust is the ultimate foundation for any of these relationships to be successful, as well as meaningful. Some claim trust should be earned, and others feel trust should be given freely to others unless the trust is broken in some way.

I have to say that I agree with both concepts. just as a bird trusts its wings to carry it flying, (it is given). Yet once those wings are broken, it needs to be fixed, (earned and repaired).

How this REALLY works? How our relationships grow without having trust... How it is possible that you will grow to know someone without trusting them?

Risk,,, everyone whom want to grow in their relationship, you need to take the risk to trust your spouse...Just like we trust God, we risk having our prayers and requests not answered. But we trust always to have Him looking after us.

Do you trust your spouse, What is holding you back? I encourage you to talk more about it with your partner. Tell him, tell her, that you want your relationship to grow stronger, closer. Express your needs to feel secure. You and I need to take the risk, walk to your spouse and express your feelings to trust them in order to move to the higher level of your relationship.

But here are some signs of mistrust.... Are you ready?
Do you see a lot of I and You in your conversions? For example, "I bought this and that is how much I spent". "You need to realized how much I make". There aren't a lot of "WE" make so much, or we bought this or that.

Relationships are trees, and there is no tree can grow with cracks in its root. See Trust is the foundation of all relationships, including buying and selling, not to mention our marriage. Yes it is given, but we all raised in different homes and backgrounds, where trust may differ from one house to another. Yet marriage is about oneness and without oneness, there is no marriage, and here where trust play the big role of bringing two different people with one heart and one goal. Basically Trust builds your relationship.

So, it is given, yet once it is broken, it is hard to repair. Do NOT panic. First things first, Knowledge your mistakes and express your love.. Second, show regret and express love. Third, Show understanding (these things take time to heal) and also express love, Forth work toward regaining trust, and express love.

The important thing is to keep on expressing love to your spouse. Work toward regain his or her trust is the only way to make your marriage relationship grow. once a trust is broken, It won't be given to you. You need to gain it back...yet you need to do all this with love.

Life is about taking one chance after another, just like taking one step after another into the unknown. We learn from mistakes we have made in the past and, therefore, learn from them to prevent ourselves from hurting our spouse in the future. So take the four steps I mentioned and don't try to expect too much right away. You would cause more harm, than good by expecting fast healing from your spouse, NEVER express frustration with him or her for not healing fast enough.

Remember though keep watering your trust tree and fix those cracks because without the foundation of trust in a marriage, there won't be marriage. So take the risk or building your relationship every day by allowing your spouse to trust you and feel trust worthy.

Couples: Repent, Simply Repent!!

Simply repent of not noticing the small things that your spouse does for you and not appreciating them for it.

Simply repent of holding your spouse to a higher standard for men and women you see in movies.

Simply repent for every time you didn't communicated your feeling to your spouse and enabled your relationship to reach a deeper meaning.

Simply repent of holding on forgiving your spouse and love him/her.
Know that love heals much more than any thing else.

Simply repent for not praying for your spouse every single day to allow the Lord to guide and protect them. A woman told me once "In my wedding vows, I committed to pray daily for my husband, and the most effective way he communicates love to me is when he prays for me

Simply repent of thinking only of the negative things about your spouse. Even when it is hard, renew your mind with positive thoughts about him or her.
Many people believe that love start in the heart, but the truth is the Love LIVED in mind.

The bible tells us that we should be "transformed by the renewing of the mind that we may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2)

Wow, renewing our mind is doing God's will, and it is prefect... that is an eye opener...

Simply repent of not meeting your spouse needs and waiting for him or her to meet your needs first. Be willing to to give first.

Simply repent of living a phony way of love and not following what real love is. Love is patient, not self seeking, forgiving. etc

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, ...1 Corinthians 13

Simply repent of comparing your spouse to your friend spouses and wanting them to become the same.

Simply repent for not encouraging your spouse every day and pushing them to look forward every day to look after their family. If you can't find reason to encourge them, make up reasons.

Simply repent for being passive when you action was needed to restore the relationship with you spouse but your pride took control of you.

Simply repent for the things you may have said in anger even before your spouse point them out.

Repentance is a change of direction. Are you willing to turn around and become positive force in your marriage?

Romans 2:5 But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God

Give your spouse all your best with a happy heart. Don't be cheap with him or her. Allow your relationship to grow, don't be a dead branch in the Lord's body. Do his will.

Couples: Do not what is your duty!

Jesus called us to do what is his love but what is not our duty...

Did you ever wonder why Jesus didn't say 'Love Your Neighbour'? But he said, "Love your enemies"

"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" - Jesus of Nazareth, as recorded in Matthew 5:44 (NIV translation)

I tell you why, because it is so easy to love the ones who love us and care for us.

Our society tough us never turn the other cheek, never ignore the pain or hurt of other, neither taught us to love who hurt us.

This past Sunday, during the Sunday school class I teach, Caren (Sunday school teacher) spoke about how we are called to do not due what is our duty. If someone ask you to walk a mile, walk two. If some one asks for your cloth, give them every thing. If someone hurt us, we are called to love them, not to hurt them back....

Those words touched my heart,,, what about our spouses, don't we suppose to love them, care for them, protect them... How come we end up doing what is our duty and not listen to what God told us.

Many times we get caught in the moment and never think of the painful moment as an opportunity to express love and show love. Jesus did that. He thought of that, he asked us to do so. Express love when least expected, so that we be following his foot steps.

Right after I finished Sunday school, I went to listen our our Pastor sermon. He also was talking about love.

Here what he was talking about
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1)

Many times we do things to our spouses out of duty and not our of caring and love. We marry them, we cook for them, we clean for them, we drive them, we provide for them. But all our of duty, not our of love. The verse we just read is so powerful. It talks about how all our work is done in vein if we don't do it out of love.

Many of us do all that work and wait for appreciation, or wait to be served back. Many feel so over whelmed. All because we do things out of duty and not our love.

When conflict come, we tend to stand up right and hold the other person wrong and never show love. Many times our standard is much more important than love. We forget that Loving them is more important. We tend to leave them, ignore them when they are sick. Avoid confrontation or even conversion when it most needed. We forget that A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Here is the advise that I need and will pass on to you as well. I read this in a book I am currently reading. It is called The Practice of the Presence of God. He says, "be governed by love without selfish views, make the love of God the end of all your action" Very tough one...

What a powerful words... my actions are a expressions of God's love and I got to make the best of it... It should be easy when it is toward our spouses or partners, but we fail many times. Yet, we got to try. Remember, Love is much greater power than standard and rules. Do what is not your duty.

Couples: Football & Fashion, Can they meet?

Did you know that most of us stop discovering their spouse right after the wedding day?

See, once we find someone we like and we start dating and engagement period, we keep on trying to know as much as possible about them. The reason behind it is that we want to make sure that person really is a good match with us.

Once we get married, the exploring and searching stop,,, we know he or she is a match,, so we stop....!! Can this make any sense?

You and I need to realize that knowing one another does not stop at the alter, it starts there. The journey start there. You need to know that you only discovered a skin thin area of your spouse and there a lot more to know.

You hear so much about communication and how it is important to marriage...So, how will you communicate to someone you don't even know?

What are you going to do when there is no more words to say or things to talk about?

Do you see it as an investment...? Did you put the effort...? You and your spouse are two different worlds that must meet, football and fashion must meet..

Here is an example?
Ladies, did you ever think of learning a little more about football as a way to communicate to your husband and live in his world?

Men, did you ever think learning more about fashion and decor is a way to communicate with her....?

What are you going to do when the outer beauty fails after 10 years of marriage, and there is nothing that interest either one of you in each other?
What are you going to be talking about when you turn 50"s
Especially since outside beauty is only temporary.

A girl's gotta have a Plan B.
A woman once said "that's why I've perfected my football toss, and learned to bake, operate power tools, and read above a fifth grade level. Cuz nobody in their 60's looks good in thigh high fishnets and black garters."

We need a deeper meaning for our relationships, and deeper reason to relate to one another than just love. Because love is just a word in vacuum unless you fill this vacuum with more loving communications.

Continue to discover your spouse, find ways to know more and more. Ask about his or her childhood, likes, dislikes, interests, any and every thing. If you wondering why aren't you talking to each other enough, maybe because you didn't take a interest knowing what he or she likes. Take an action now and don't wait til there are no more words to say. Reach out to your spouse and create a friendship that will last a life time.

What's the good of prayer?

This was the title of my devotion today....What do you expect when you pray?? Do you expect the world to change around you to what you want it to be? Do you expect every thing to go your way? Do you expect your spouse to be extremely nice to you every second of the day every day and never does anything that frustrates you? That is not what prayers are for!!!!

When I was reading my devotion today, there is a sentence that really opened my eyes about prayers...it said: "Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man's disposition." Right after reading this sentence it reminded me of the verse that says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13. Where "I can do" in this verse means that I can bare all the tough situations that I am in, while prayers work in me and it also helps me bare what is around and go over any obstacles I face. Prayers do not necessarily change the person or situation in front of me but it changes me and the way I look at things.

Next time when you pray do not expect magic to happen in your outside world; however, expect magic to happen in the inner you.

Couples: Rebirth your Love

Here is a word of advise, making good memories with your partner are very important. Did you ask me why....?

Well, lesson learned that when one of us not feeling so great and maybe hurt by the other a great sweet memory come very handy.

What a great idea to jump back on track when we remember sweet memory that we made come together.

Of course, you need to have the attitude of wanting to be in good terms with your partner and want to reconcile. What an amazing gratitude when you accompany it with a great memory of your spouse. It feels just like someone giving me back my breath. It is like reigniting your love once again.

So, here what I say, go back search in your memories to find sweet moments of your relationship and use them to restart your love once again in order to get back on track.

Couples: Break Free of False Self.

Last weekend the youth in our church got together with another 100 more from around the USA. We came together to talk seriously about how to break free. The topic was amazing, it was about breaking free from our false self in order to claim our true self which God planed for us.

He went on defining the two, false self is what the society, environment, family tend to make of us or mold us to be, and true self is what God ultimately planned for us want to mold us to be.

Dr. Awasm talked about a great thing that we should all do as couples. When conflict happens between any couple, there is a need for attention. We need to pay attention in order to find out what is the need of our spouse. When someone seems angry our mad of the other there is two responsibilities we need to take care of:

First:the person who did wrong needs not to be so taken by how much the other person is angry or mad, as much as paying attention to respond to the need of restoring the hurt feelings.

Second: The person who is hurt, needs to pay attention to the person who hurt him/her to find out why he or she did that? Was there any reasons for what he or she did?

He encouraged us to always have those secret conversions with our selves to examine ourselves before we run to claim we are right and the others are wrong.

It is definitely a call of being selfless. A call to two people to become more like one. A marriage that seeks the happiness of the other before self and gives the benefit of the doubt to others before making a judgement.

My lesson is not to rush quickly and claim that I am hurt from something, and listen and question my self and circumstance first.

Couples: Love Vs. Standard?!

How many times you were right in a conflict with your spouse or your partner?
How many times you had the right to stay angry and upset for his or her wrong doing?

See, many times we act as if we all righteous and standard holders of law. We forgot sometimes that our relationships of love are far more important than holding in the wrong person in the corner.
We tend to hold our standard to a higher level than our love. Instead of humbling ourselves in order to restore the relationship, we tend to stand higher looking down on our partners whom have sinned against us. We forget many times that our partners is in need of our love much more than our condemnation. We tend to disapprove their behavior and enlarge an attack on them or for the most part we act like the victims who have all rights to hold.

Have you questioned yourselves, what Jesus did in the same situation?

Did he stood up high pointing the fingers to our wrong doing? Instead, he thought that his relationship with us is far more important that just sitting and watching us living in our wrong doing. He humbled himself in order to pay off what we owe to standard and love us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. John 3:16
Do you realize that when you hold your rights more importantly than your love, you are not doing God’s work, yet you are doing the work of evil.
The evil hold us wrong in place; in captivity. But Jesus does it so differently, he frees us of any wrong doing by his love. Amazing way isn’t?

Jesus had all rights and power to stay mad and angry at us for our wrong doing. But with his love he freed us in order for us to become more like him (righteous as he is)
Instead of holding up standard vs love, how about holding a righteous love that is stronger than any wrong doing of a person needs. Love one another and hold your relationship up more importantly than any wrong doing of your partners.

Love Vs. Standard?! Choose carefully, becuase the one you choose could have a long affect on your relationship. The question insn't how many times you were right in a conflict with your spouse or your partner? It is, How many times you loved them when they were wrong?

Couples: Swim Against the Current

Let me start by asking you, do you have the power in your hand? Or you allow the negative trend take control of your life?
Do you have the energy and courage to stand strong and turn the wheel back in the right way?

See, sometimes we face one wrong thing after the other in our marriage and relationships. It may feel like a negative charge that pulling you in it. It feels like a spinning water that is sucking all of the goodness out of your Love life or friendship. The tricky part is sometimes we tend to ignore the first attack and the second. And by the time we realize it, it kinda late to do any thing. But the worse part that we tend to negatively contribute to the problem.

It may feels so overwhelming that you just want to close all your senses to avoid the pain and the headache the accompany it. Truth to be said, that your joy with the your relationships will slowly dissipate.
The easy way is to react every anger with anger, every misspoken word with another. It is easy to defend ourselves against attacks. But that is exactly what is "spinning water" does. It gains energy from within. It drawn you and your relationship below surface. Don't allow yourselves to be part a spinning water and drawn yourselves.

But let me tell you, it is too never late. It is better to try to stop the negative spin from taking control of your relationship, than you start watching it sucking you and your marriage. Stretch your arms to God who gave you the courage to stop this negative attacks and attack it back with every Good and Love that Holy Spirit puts in us.

God did not give us the spirit of failure. Do not be like a dead fish that swims with the current, but be a healthy in charge and swim against the current and make your victory known in Christ.
Remember God promise to us "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

Let me encourage you and say that "No Fear of Failure is the ability to take a risk and keep the focus and attention on our call and obedience, you can do every thing through him". So don't spin with the current, spin out of it. God has give us the power to turn our life the other way and make it the way he intend to be. Joyful, and content. Take today a positive step and turn back the other cheek and love one another as the Lord command us. Do it first and don't ask something in return.

Couples: A fight that must be won?

In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves…self-discipline with all of them came first.

We always concern about who won over who. We want others including our spouses to change, but we hardly get concerned when it comes to a flight with ourselves in order to change our bad habits.

How many times did you wrestle with yourselves in order to change one bad habit?

Are you blaming the lack of motivation, because you do have it?! You want to be happier in your relationship with your spouse, Don't you?

Did you consider changing a habit as an expression of love to your spouse?

Are you complaining about how hard it is? Well, it should be hard. Good things aren't easy.

Or are you just saying, my spouse should accept me as I am. Well if you think so, then you need to reconsider your understanding of marriage. Marriage isn't about you, Marriage is about the other person.

We all think that we will live happy life, expecting that our spouse won't find any thing wrong with us. But we fail to think, is my spouse happy with me. Or we just concern with our own happiness. Remember some thing very important happened that you got married, is the day you died in order to let the marriage grow.

Now, lets take few serious steps to consider our spouse happiness:

1. Write a list of things, you know that need to get ride of.


2. Plan on working on getting ride of one habit at a time.


3. Inform your spouse about your plan, and ask for his or her encouragements
   If you fail a few times, quickly express sorrow and start all over.

With this process, you will have a plan to work with, and at the same time you will have your spouse in mind, understanding and appreciation. Remember, if you want to win a fight, there is more important fight to win more than the one against ourselves.

Couples: Forgive me I don't mean it...

"A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else." (unknow)

The Blame Game in. action

" Forgive me, it was n0t on purpose." Have you heard these words too many times from your spouse? Did you get frustrated with him or her when you hear it?

Is is easy for you to just say, Sorry, I don't mean it in order to get out of the situation? Do you use this as an excuse for your continues mistakes? Or you just got used saying it.

I encourage you to take a stand with your self and take a serious steps to fix what could be a continuing damage to your relationship with your spouse. It is easy to blame any thing but yourself, Only the brave ones who can hold themselves accountable. Be responsible and take action, a positive action to not only keep the relationship going, but instead play an effective role in growing it.

Psalm 66:18 says "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened"

Do you realize that sinning against your spouse is a sin against your God. This should put on us the responsibility to treat it with seriousness.

Repenting to God is letting Go of our old ways,,, as much he forgive us when we fall back he says in Psalms that is we continue in our sin, he would not listen to us.

As for the stronger spouse, be patient with your weak spouse. Remember to Think Potential and have encouraging love...

Lastly let me say that, we should not abuse our spouse's love and forgiveness. We should love them back by trying harder things to avoid those blameless mistakes with a serious and effectiveness. As Paul question the Romans in Rom 6:15 "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

Pray for the changes that need to take place. Try to take serious steps to improve the relationship and mostly, be sorry when you wrong, and stop the blaming game.