Couples: Do not what is your duty!

Jesus called us to do what is his love but what is not our duty...

Did you ever wonder why Jesus didn't say 'Love Your Neighbour'? But he said, "Love your enemies"

"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" - Jesus of Nazareth, as recorded in Matthew 5:44 (NIV translation)

I tell you why, because it is so easy to love the ones who love us and care for us.

Our society tough us never turn the other cheek, never ignore the pain or hurt of other, neither taught us to love who hurt us.

This past Sunday, during the Sunday school class I teach, Caren (Sunday school teacher) spoke about how we are called to do not due what is our duty. If someone ask you to walk a mile, walk two. If some one asks for your cloth, give them every thing. If someone hurt us, we are called to love them, not to hurt them back....

Those words touched my heart,,, what about our spouses, don't we suppose to love them, care for them, protect them... How come we end up doing what is our duty and not listen to what God told us.

Many times we get caught in the moment and never think of the painful moment as an opportunity to express love and show love. Jesus did that. He thought of that, he asked us to do so. Express love when least expected, so that we be following his foot steps.

Right after I finished Sunday school, I went to listen our our Pastor sermon. He also was talking about love.

Here what he was talking about
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1)

Many times we do things to our spouses out of duty and not our of caring and love. We marry them, we cook for them, we clean for them, we drive them, we provide for them. But all our of duty, not our of love. The verse we just read is so powerful. It talks about how all our work is done in vein if we don't do it out of love.

Many of us do all that work and wait for appreciation, or wait to be served back. Many feel so over whelmed. All because we do things out of duty and not our love.

When conflict come, we tend to stand up right and hold the other person wrong and never show love. Many times our standard is much more important than love. We forget that Loving them is more important. We tend to leave them, ignore them when they are sick. Avoid confrontation or even conversion when it most needed. We forget that A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Here is the advise that I need and will pass on to you as well. I read this in a book I am currently reading. It is called The Practice of the Presence of God. He says, "be governed by love without selfish views, make the love of God the end of all your action" Very tough one...

What a powerful words... my actions are a expressions of God's love and I got to make the best of it... It should be easy when it is toward our spouses or partners, but we fail many times. Yet, we got to try. Remember, Love is much greater power than standard and rules. Do what is not your duty.

Break Free Youth Conference

What a great time we spent last month in the youth conference. God blessed us with a great topic. Break Free was the title. We learned how to let go of our false self and realize our true self in God.
Easy step is to see where we come from and put it against the light of God's word.

Couples: Football & Fashion, Can they meet?

Did you know that most of us stop discovering their spouse right after the wedding day?

See, once we find someone we like and we start dating and engagement period, we keep on trying to know as much as possible about them. The reason behind it is that we want to make sure that person really is a good match with us.

Once we get married, the exploring and searching stop,,, we know he or she is a match,, so we stop....!! Can this make any sense?

You and I need to realize that knowing one another does not stop at the alter, it starts there. The journey start there. You need to know that you only discovered a skin thin area of your spouse and there a lot more to know.

You hear so much about communication and how it is important to marriage...So, how will you communicate to someone you don't even know?

What are you going to do when there is no more words to say or things to talk about?

Do you see it as an investment...? Did you put the effort...? You and your spouse are two different worlds that must meet, football and fashion must meet..

Here is an example?
Ladies, did you ever think of learning a little more about football as a way to communicate to your husband and live in his world?

Men, did you ever think learning more about fashion and decor is a way to communicate with her....?

What are you going to do when the outer beauty fails after 10 years of marriage, and there is nothing that interest either one of you in each other?
What are you going to be talking about when you turn 50"s
Especially since outside beauty is only temporary.

A girl's gotta have a Plan B.
A woman once said "that's why I've perfected my football toss, and learned to bake, operate power tools, and read above a fifth grade level. Cuz nobody in their 60's looks good in thigh high fishnets and black garters."

We need a deeper meaning for our relationships, and deeper reason to relate to one another than just love. Because love is just a word in vacuum unless you fill this vacuum with more loving communications.

Continue to discover your spouse, find ways to know more and more. Ask about his or her childhood, likes, dislikes, interests, any and every thing. If you wondering why aren't you talking to each other enough, maybe because you didn't take a interest knowing what he or she likes. Take an action now and don't wait til there are no more words to say. Reach out to your spouse and create a friendship that will last a life time.

Who do you turn to?

Last Wednesday Moody took me out on a date, while he was driving on the highway I was looking out of the window. Looking at each car passing by, looking at the drivers of each car passing by. There was someone who looked mad and was furious to get to his destination, there is someone that is just singing along to the radio, there is a mom who was trying to quiet down her kids so she can drive, there was someone who just looked extremely tired and had a long day..…...etc.

While I was looking at each driver, the thought of them having their own life and problems came to my head. If I was upset or feeling down, there are way many more people feeling the same or even much worse. But the question is….Who does each person turn to?? You could turn to the TV, shopping, eating, etc. No matter who or what you turn to in the world, it will never fully satisfy you and will never make you feel any better. The real JOY is when we turn to Jesus…...when you be right related to God, you will always find your joy there.

"That my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." John 15:11

What's the good of prayer?

This was the title of my devotion today....What do you expect when you pray?? Do you expect the world to change around you to what you want it to be? Do you expect every thing to go your way? Do you expect your spouse to be extremely nice to you every second of the day every day and never does anything that frustrates you? That is not what prayers are for!!!!

When I was reading my devotion today, there is a sentence that really opened my eyes about prayers...it said: "Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man's disposition." Right after reading this sentence it reminded me of the verse that says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13. Where "I can do" in this verse means that I can bare all the tough situations that I am in, while prayers work in me and it also helps me bare what is around and go over any obstacles I face. Prayers do not necessarily change the person or situation in front of me but it changes me and the way I look at things.

Next time when you pray do not expect magic to happen in your outside world; however, expect magic to happen in the inner you.

Couples: Rebirth your Love

Here is a word of advise, making good memories with your partner are very important. Did you ask me why....?

Well, lesson learned that when one of us not feeling so great and maybe hurt by the other a great sweet memory come very handy.

What a great idea to jump back on track when we remember sweet memory that we made come together.

Of course, you need to have the attitude of wanting to be in good terms with your partner and want to reconcile. What an amazing gratitude when you accompany it with a great memory of your spouse. It feels just like someone giving me back my breath. It is like reigniting your love once again.

So, here what I say, go back search in your memories to find sweet moments of your relationship and use them to restart your love once again in order to get back on track.

Couples: Break Free of False Self.

Last weekend the youth in our church got together with another 100 more from around the USA. We came together to talk seriously about how to break free. The topic was amazing, it was about breaking free from our false self in order to claim our true self which God planed for us.

He went on defining the two, false self is what the society, environment, family tend to make of us or mold us to be, and true self is what God ultimately planned for us want to mold us to be.

Dr. Awasm talked about a great thing that we should all do as couples. When conflict happens between any couple, there is a need for attention. We need to pay attention in order to find out what is the need of our spouse. When someone seems angry our mad of the other there is two responsibilities we need to take care of:

First:the person who did wrong needs not to be so taken by how much the other person is angry or mad, as much as paying attention to respond to the need of restoring the hurt feelings.

Second: The person who is hurt, needs to pay attention to the person who hurt him/her to find out why he or she did that? Was there any reasons for what he or she did?

He encouraged us to always have those secret conversions with our selves to examine ourselves before we run to claim we are right and the others are wrong.

It is definitely a call of being selfless. A call to two people to become more like one. A marriage that seeks the happiness of the other before self and gives the benefit of the doubt to others before making a judgement.

My lesson is not to rush quickly and claim that I am hurt from something, and listen and question my self and circumstance first.