Glasses Shads

Are you thankful for your spouse???

One on One with Sarah Markley Pt. 1

It is that time again where we introduce to you someone really spacial to us. Why I say special,you asking.. simply because she inspires us. First let me say that her story is so real and close to any couple out there. I really encourage you to go to her site and read and learn from her.  Sarah Markley

Can affair take place in Christian marriage. I guess it does, we know it does.
Better yet, go read their story.. what an amazing work of God. Their also a video their for the couple.
Now lets dive in the interview, but before that, I have to thank the couple so much for honoring us with such interview.

***How would you introduce yourselves to others and to yourselves?
Sarah lives in Southern California with her husband, two daughters, Hope (10) and Naomi (6) and their family cat, Rosie. She grew up as the daughter of a youth minister, went to Christian schools and got her degrees from Biola University in English and Education. She married Chad when she was just 21. 
It’s been over eight years since her marriage fell apart. In January of 2004 she confessed to a three year long extramarital affair. Chad and Sarah allowed God to completely renovated their lives, their hearts and their relationship.

After a year of counseling, healing and restoration, Sarah and her husband now lead a fully redeemed life with a brand new marriage. Grateful for her new life, her two bright little girls, a husband who loves her, and new stewardship in ministry, Sarah lives a restored life in Christ. She and her husband Chad have been married for 16 years.

Sarah jogs most mornings. She steps on tiny legos in the dark. She sometimes lets the dinner dishes sit in the sink overnight (Shhh). And one of her favorite things to do is make banana nut waffles for her girls and husband on Saturdays.

Sarah blogs daily about her children, her faith and the idea that every day is God’s best day for her at www.sarahmarkley.com

***Sarah, If you can summaries your lives in one word, what would it be and why? Grace.

***Why did you start blogging and how you find time for it?
I began blogging over five years ago as a writing discipline and a medium for personal creativity. I write my blog 5 times a week usually and I take the weekend off. I need that time to regroup and rest from it.

***Are you goal oriented or detail oriented?
Both, I think. I don’t’ think I can put myself in only one of those categories.

Now, lets dig a little more deeper and know Sarah on a personal level.
***Why did you start blogging and how you find time for it?
I began blogging over three years ago as a writing discipline and a medium for personal creativity. I write my blog 5 times a week usually and I take the weekend off. I need that time to regroup and rest from it.
 
***Are you goal oriented or detail oriented? Both, I think. I don’t’ think I can put myself in only one of those categories.

***What inspires you, and how you come up with ideas for your blog?
I regularly look for deeper meaning in simple things. Life is full of the spiritual and it’s all there if you look for it. I’ve tried to practice this and when God shows me something, I write about it. Inspiration comes from my kids, my family, my internal life, what I’m reading.
 
***Reading your Story Sarah, it makes me wonder!! Many say, you can't clap with one hand. Does marriage need both party to succeed? Or one person can make it?
I’ve known couples that have "made it" even when one person isn’t as helpful or honest. But the couples that truly are influential and are making a difference in their communities and families are of like mind with one another. They are loving Christ and each other and they are doing it together. The best and most healthy marriages are ones when both people do EVERYTHING it takes to make it work.

***The other man, was everything that your husband wasn't,,, good, yet very bad to look at it this way.. explain?
I just meant that in personality and in everything else he was very different from my husband. And the fact that my husband and I were in such a bad place in our marriage that the differences in that other man was attractive to me at the time.

***On the other hand, how your husband found the grace to forgive you? I think that’s a question for him. To hear his answer. Check the video we did together. I think he speaks to that.

Did you have enough of the intview, I doubt that very much.. come back to the second part. Mean while enjoy dicouving those couple and their marrige. here is the link to their Marriage Story

Commitment

Via Focus on the family


"If you really love someone, you shouldn't have to work at it."

That's what High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens told CosmoGIRL! for its August 2008 issue. This young celebrity was speaking out loud what millions of people privately think: Loving feelings should come naturally in a relationship, so if you have to work at it, something's wrong. But the truth is exactly the opposite: If you truly love someone, you will work hard for the relationship.
Rock or Sand

Jesus spoke of a house that was built on sand and shaken by storms, while another house was built on rock and remained unmoved. One of my greatest surprises as a relationship analyst is just how many of us build our marriages on the sand of feelings instead of the rock of commitment. But I've been encouraged to see that truly committed couples are able, with God's help, to thrive even through the inevitable storms.

Over a five-year period, a close friend sent me e-mails sharing about her struggles with her marriage. She went from daily messages that read, "I can't take this anymore!" to e-mails saying, "He is such a gift to me." What accounted for the change? Her determination.

As she now says, "A successful marriage has little to do with circumstances and a lot to do with determination — taking the word divorce out of your vocabulary and replacing it with commitment."
What is Commitment?

Commitment is a decision to have the abundant marriage God desires, regardless of circumstances or whether you think your spouse is doing his or her part. This includes:

* Realizing that marriage is an unbreakable covenant before God. At weddings, Atlanta minister Barry Grecu explains that ancient Hebrew culture understood a covenant not as a contract, which could be broken, but as a binding, permanent agreement — just like the covenant God makes with us.
* Choosing to "do it until you feel it." We often let our feelings guide our actions, but we are actually built for the opposite. Our Creator has designed us so that when we love another person with our actions, our feelings inevitably follow.
* Focusing on the good in our spouse and the sin in ourselves — instead of the other way around. If you're dissatisfied with your marriage, try this challenge: For the next 30 days, don't say anything negative about your spouse — neither to him or her nor to someone else. Every day, find something you appreciate about your spouse, and verbalize it. This marital application of Philippians 4:8 (which instructs us to focus on whatever is praiseworthy) has the power to transform a marriage. When we examine and work to change ourselves, we often bring out the best in our spouse as well.
* Engaging in Christian community, prayer and discipleship — especially when you don't want to. These three aspects of the Christian life help sustain every believer, but they are particularly essential for those going through a difficult season.
* Relying on God to help you act selflessly toward your spouse. As Grecu puts it, "We are incapable of living out our covenant promises in our own human strength. Jesus says, 'Apart from Me you can do nothing' and calls us to engage with the Spirit of God being lived out through us."

Is Commitment Possible?

The often-cited statistic that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce — even among churchgoers — can make commitment seem fruitless. But that statistic is misleading. Dozens of studies distinguish between couples who claim a nominal faith and those who prioritize church attendance. Couples who have a strong commitment to faith and attend church regularly are far more likely to have lifelong relationships.

One recent study in particular shows that those who go to church and pray together have a much lower divorce rate. The University of Virginia's Brad Wilcox found that regular church attendance cuts the likelihood of divorce by 30 percent to 35 percent. Wilcox's work is supported by another study by Annette Mahoney of Bowling Green State University, which independently came to a similar conclusion.

While that rate is still unfortunately high, when you add prayer into the mix, thoughts of divorce plummet. A 1998 survey by the Georgia Family Council found that among couples who prayed together weekly, only 7 percent had seriously considered divorce, compared to 65 percent of those who never prayed together.

The abundant marriage that God has designed for us is not only possible but also likely, and the journey there starts with one word — commitment.
This article first appeared in the January, 2009 issue of Focus on the Family magazine. Copyright © 2009 Shaunti Feldhahn. All rights reserved.

fireflies and songs by Sara Groves

I simply love this song:

Thirty years ago I was a little girl
Riding in the back seat of the car.
A woman sang 'You don't bring me flowers anymore.'
I felt the sadness in my little heart.

We're looking for the music
In the music box,
Tearing it to pieces,
Trying to find a song.

I was drawn to you in ways I can't explain.
I fought like crazy but I couldn't stay away.
Piled on expectations and lots of blame,
like we couldn't do it any other way.

We're looking for a firefly
Moving through the night,
Staring at that one place
Swear it never lights.

We're looking for the music
In the music box,
Tearing it to pieces,
Trying to find a song.

Were you surprised our hearts were not like ticking clocks?
The faces and hands easy to read.
We both wished 'if only in the land of Oz.'
And longed for things we'd never really need.

Now we're standing in the kitchen,
All pretense is gone.
You kiss me on the shoulder.
Fireflies and songs.

Strom learning moments

Working the storm the last few days tough me few things.

Let me first say meeting 21 men for The first time whom any one of them doubt or triple your size at first is a bit scary.

Leading those totally strange men right after we just met even put more pressure and challenging. These situations really put me to test. It challenges me to the leader I should be and act in confidence. Being in a totally different and strange environment for ( long island ) adds to the challenges. Dealing with all this tough me to slow down, take a minute to think before making any decisions. But it also let me exercise my leadership to stick with those decision even when those big guys some times object.

Aside from the tough character I had to dress in, meeting those customers who had no lights for almost a week made me wear another dress on. I had to show compassion yet, I had the challenge to balance my compassion with doing the right thing during that tough time when every one looking for my leadership to act on spot.

Another thing I learned is once I realize that I made a mistake I rush to fix it. There was no room for making mistakes with I am responsible for the safety of 21 men. But at any point I needed to change course, I had to quick to fix it.

After all, I thank God for his protection over me, He loves me so much that despite my ignorance He Mercy me.

Couples: The Power of Choice

Sinning against one another isn't the plan for couples. God's plan for us in marriage to be one as He wanted us to be one with Him.
Adam and Eve choose to sin against God and believe it or not we choose to sin against one another in marriage. The result is known, separation between God and man, a separation between couples.

The amazing thing is when Adam and Eve sinned against God, they went hiding, but God is his mercy called on him. He didn't burn him in anger flames nor he killed him. Instead God initiated a conversion with him, the result was ground rules for Adam and Eve to live by and a promise of redemption. Yet, Adam and Eve didn't run away from the consequence of their mistakes.

Again, in marriage, when we sin against one another, many times we choose to not talk to the one who had hurt us. we refuse to start the conversion. We ignore one another. On the other hand we should express mercy, offer ways to solve the problem.

We aren't going to be ONE again until we repent. I said repent, not express sorry. True repentance brings back to the relationship with God. In marriage, we expect pain and hurt TO go away quickly as we say sorry, and that could be true sometimes. However, true oneness does not come with words, repentance is a chance of direction, and change of behavior.

So, today, I remind you to choose not to sin, against your spouse, and if  you did, I would choose to repent, knowing that repentance wouldn't redeem me from consequences.
Today, I remind you that even when you are hurt, that you would choose to talk about your hurt and express mercy.
Today, choose to become true one with your spouse.

Couple: Informed Vs. Transformed

Okay, lets consider all of us informed. We all know that we are getting married to be one with our mate and to live happily ever after. We all know that we should love our spouse without any conditions. Sounds good just like the movies.

Yet, many of us are not transformed. Transformation is actually means, walking to talk.

Here is a few reasons stopping us from being transformed:

- Where there is Pride, there is no oneness. I would not say sorry.

- Simply fear. We are scared of being the nice person in the relationship, so my spouse will walk all over me.

- I am Right, He/She is Wrong, why should I?

- I am not happy... focusing on your expectation of marriage

- You just waiting for him or her to make the first move

Here are few steps toward transformation:

- Work on the relationship as you are the only one in it. Love as much as you would like to be loved.

- Make the first move always

- Remember you be happier when you mike him or her happier

- Always fight with goal to solve the problem, and don't fight to only win

- Truly love one another without any condition

- Thank God for having her, and thank God for having him, learn to appreciate one another

- Learn from your mistakes

- Be patient, transformation takes time and need consistency

So, take the first step today to transform yourself, because no one can transform you unless you want to.

Couples: Loving any way!

But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!

But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.
... Or Anyway

Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?

Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called to anyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.

But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.

That's love, the way God intended it.

Couples: Are you allowed you to breath?

Are you out to get him? Or are you waiting for her to make a mistake? Do you have the plan already to count her mistakes or his?

Allow each other to make mistakes, and allow your self to forgive one another. Why would you allow your spouse to make mistakes? The reasons are simple, we don't learn the easy way... God allow us to make mistakes to allow us to trust him and learn. He also use our mistakes to express his love to us. If you don't let your spouse make mistakes, how would you express love to him or her during that time.

It is a blessing to forgive one another.. it is amazing demonstration of love when you forgive one another.

When someone make a mistake, it is like standing naked in front of you and your forgiveness is the cloth you give to him or her to cover up... that is Godly love..

In << 1 Corinthians 13:5 >> says "It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

That is something very challenging to me, Not easily angered, and no keeping record of wrong. Sounds very hard to me, I know. But we have a great example to follow.

< Proverbs 29:11 >> "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." When I read this, I really feel ashamed, and makes me want to pray even harder for God's wisdom.

So how many times should I forgive? Matthew 18:21-35Then Peter came to Jesus and asked,

"Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

We all need to remember one important thing, when we get married we become one with our spouse. Many of use including myself forget this during our fights and count mistakes. But the thing that need to always to be remember is that our Oneness isn't something easy, and confessing and forgiving come hand in hand to keep that oneness hold.

Allow your spouse to make mistakes, and allow your self to bless him or her with the mercy of forgiveness. It is an amazing journey that starts by accepting (yet not approving) one another and love one another. Make your spouse feel accepted even when they are at they lowest point. Open those arms as they confess their mistakes to you. Love them the Godly love that forgives. Build the truth between the two of you.

1 on 1 with Lori. Argyle & Apricots. Pt. 3

Sadly, that is our third and last part with the our guest post Lori... Gosh,,, It has been learning journey, I know that I took a few notes.. I hope it inspired you as it did for us.

Once said "The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words: I did not have time." How you deal with time management? And how you see this relating to marriage?
My husband travels Monday through Thursday to Northern California for his job. It has put great urgency on us to make sure that we are spending quality time together when he is in town. I have recently changed my role at work so that I no longer work on Sundays which now gives us one more day together.

How much you pray with your husband? How much you pray for him?
I pray for him every morning in my quiet time, especially when he is traveling. Gracie and I pray for him in her bedtime prayers and Dan leads our prayers at night before we go to bed.

How you see the role of prayers in your life and you husband life?
It is extremely important. We learned once at a marriage conference how important it is to pray over your spouse daily. Since Danny travels during the week, it is a habit that we are unable to keep up but when he is home and we are holding each other and praying, it makes not only our day better but it also brings us closer.

If there is any advice you would like to give to newly married couple, what it would be?
Accept that things will change a bit. Women, know that hair on your husband will grow in places you did not know had hair before you got married. Men, the shower drain will clog more than you ever imagined it could depending on the length of your wives hair.

I always say, that marriage with difficulties is a living marriage? What are your thoughts?
How you deal with conflict? How you can make the best out of it?
I think conflict is healthy in a marriage as long as you agree to disagree. We all have our own opinions and as long as issues are resolved and not hidden to the point they erupt later, it is perfectly normal to have conflict. A good debate gets the blood flowing and always makes for a great “make up” time later.

If you can't get enough from Lori, make sure to keep checking Lori's blog...Argyle & Apricots

Thank you so much Lori for being part of our blog and our learning experiences.

1 on 1 with Lori. Argyle & Apricots. Pt. 2

In this part of our interview with Lori, we are digging deeper with one purpose. The purpose to learn and be inspired.

How you met your husband?
I met Danny while he was in CA on business from GA. I was managing a bar in a restaurant and he came in for dinner. He was in CA for 3 months and I met him 2 days before he was going home for good. He says that I was hitting on him that first night. I say that I was just doing my job. We did date long distance for 3 ½ years before we got married. The crazy thing is that and we only saw each other for a weekend every few months and one 5 day vacation before we got married.

What changes you see in yourself now compared to your life before marriage?
I was a single mom and only saw my daughter half of the week so I was a mom 4 days and a single gal working in a restaurant bar for the other three. I really lived two different lives back then. I am definitely the happiest I have ever been in my marriage and life in general. I am now serving God instead of serving cocktails...a much better vocation.

What was your thoughts of marriage before you get married and did it change?
I was married previously to my oldest daughters dad for 3 short years. It ended with infidelity so my views on marriage were not completely positive. I swore I would never marry again after that experience. I couldn't imagine going through that kind of pain again. It changed when I met my current husband Dan. I learned to trust again and I dedicated my life to God right before we got married so absolutely everything was different from that point on.

In your years of marriage, what did you find about the wife role in the man life? How she can influence?
in another words: How you see the role the a woman can play in her marriage and in her husband life? Why many under estimate the wife role in marriage and husband life?

I was one of those women who struggled with the word "role" especially in my marriage. It wasn't until God and I wrestled and wrestled over it and I finally cried "Uncle" that I was able to understand my purpose and what a great gift being a wife is. We are the encourager's and especially since my husband travels every week I see my self as the lighthouse that my husband need to stay the course. I am the beacon that reassures, comforts and guides him home. That may sound cheesy but I know that I am that to my husband.

What do you think of marriage? and how you describe yours?
I love being married and I cannot image spending my life with anyone other than my husband. We had a rocky road for the first few years because of my fears and my unwillingness to give God control of my life and marriage. Since I have given all of it to God, he has blessed it. We have an extremely strong marriage and a beautiful 4 year old daughter together.

If you enjoyed this part of the interview, I am sure you would love the next one as well. Come back and discover more of that amazing family. Don't forget to check out Lori's blog...Argyle & Apricots

1 on 1 with Lori. Argyle & Apricots

It is that time again where we introduce to you someone really spacial to us. Why I say special, very, you asking.. simply because she inspires us.

Well, it was an honer that she took some time of her busy life to sit with us and talk about her blog and her life... lets just dig into it.

Now that you are here, make sure right after you read this post to go to check her blog. I assure you will be inspired just like we are. Argyle & Apricots

How would you introduce yourself to others? But also how you introduce your self to God? How you introduce your husband?
My name is Lori Zimbardi, I am a wife and a mother of two beautiful girls. I work Sandals Church in Riverside, CA. I love to write. I think I am funny, though my husband does not and it is a debate we have frequently in our home. If I did not work for my church, I would spend my time writing stories of people that have experienced God’s redemption.

Well, God knows me pretty well. He has been in and out of the principals office of life with me many time so not much of an introduction is necessary but I would introduce myself as someone who loves and serves him and desperately needs him.

My husband’s name is Danny and he is the most magnificent husband and father. He works for a 4party logistics company and travels weekly to Northern California on business. He is not funny.

If you can summaries your life in one word, what would it be and why?
Redeemed. I made a lot of mistakes and chose to ignore God for many years. I look back and see the orchestrated intent for my life made by my choices and God’s redemption. It’s amazing.

Why did you start blogging and how you find time for it?
I was against it at first. My husband started blogging and I felt like it was an incredible invasion of privacy. Sadly enough I thought that about the Internet too. Somehow he wore me down and I figured it was a great way for our kid’s grandparents to see what they were up to. I then realized after a year or so that my posts were all focused on how hard motherhood was and how tired I was so I gave it up fearing that I had just shared with the world what a horrible mom I had become. After a few months I missed it. I started again with a new format. I work part time so I have 2 days off week that I try to spend writing.

How you came up with your Motto? “Why Argyle & Apricots”
It reminds me of an innocent time in my life, before the tough years of disobedience. A friend in high school called me Argyle because I had an affinity for the pattern. In college another friend liked the way I said apricots and that became my nickname. Argyle & Apricots represents a simpler time. Who I was before I let this world get a hold of me. And who doesn’t love argyle?

What is the current book you are reading?
A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller. I am reading it for work but it is an amazing book that I highly recommend.

You talk about pure joy as a complete joy? What does it means to have a complete joy?
I mean complete joy in the sense that I don’t have to worry about anything, God has it all under control. The second line of Psalm 23 is “I shall not want”. W Phillip Keller states that “the idea of I shall not want is being utterly contented in the Good Shepherd’s care and consequently not craving or desiring anything more” I am not referring to material things but being under “God’s Care, entrusting ourselves to Christ’s control”. Complete joy is a” utterly contented, a deep quiet settled peace”.

Explain " redeemed yet incomplete" ?
God has redeemed me but, certainly, is not done with me yet. I have an excitement to see what God is going to do with decisions I have made and how he will continue to refine and grow me.

Tell us about you work with Sandals Church?
I have been with Sandals for a little over a year and a half. I spent the first year as a next steps coordinator, placing people into small groups. The past 6 months I have been working with our Care Team. We try our best to help those in need in our church. With the current economy and a lot of bad decisions made when the economy was booming, we have a great number of people that are losing their jobs and homes. We try and help get them back on track. We use the parable of the Good Samaritan as our basis for what we do in Care.

How about your love to Poetry, How you developed such passion?
I always thought only old ladies with cats like poetry so I hid that side of me for a long time. I love rhymes. I love Dr. Seuss. One of my favorite things to do is to rewrite the Psalms so that the verses rhyme. It is a great way for me to keep my mind on studying the bible since I go over and over them trying to find a way to make them rhyme but keep the integrity of the verse and not loose any meaning.

Well,, we only scratched the surface, make sure to come back to read the second part of our interview with Lori...

Couples: Are You Cheating on your Spouse?

Yes, Are you cheating on your spouse?
Are you loving your spouse all you heart, mind and soul.

What is holding you back from loving your spouse, YES, YES, I know you love your partner. But, I am taking about truly love them. Does your work take away from your spouse? Do you make time for him or her to spent together? Do you know of something that he or she likes, and you are lazy to do it.

Let’s step through the five ways that are given to us by the Lord Jesus Himself in Mark 12:30-31 (that He combined together and quoted from Deuteronomy 6:4-5 and Leviticus 19:18).
And you shall love the Lord your God:

•with all your heart,
•with all your soul,
•with all you mind,
•with all your strength, …
and … love your neighbor as yourself.

When bible calls to love the Lord to love him with all our heart. ( Do you have that person in the center of your life)

Soul, Why soul... did you eve hear the words, I love you you with every breath. Breath is life source and can't live without... Can you see yourself living without your breath or your spouse?

Why God used the word mind, I think he wanted us to love him not only when we feel like loving him... see, emotions goes up and down just like waves in the sea. But, minds aren't like that.

When you love your spouse with your mind, then no matter how things between you, good or bad, you will continue to love him or her. Don't let emotions lead your love live. Let the mind to be certain of what you do.

Lastly strength...See love don't stop at heart, mind or soul... to bring all this together, you need to express it. You need to show it. When you love someone with all your strength, your will have the courage to take every step to show it. So, express love with every way, be creative and show it.

God says, do every thing as you we working for Jesus. Do you love your spouse this way? Are you honest in your feelings toward your spouse? Is there any thing holding you back from loving your spouse completely?

Colossians 3:17 & 23 "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." Are you complaining too much? Are you loving caring your spouse with the spirit of loving God himself? Are you putting every effort in loving your spouse?

Lastly, Jesus commanded us to love your neighbor as ourselves. If so, shouldn't we love our spouses like loving ourselves. If you love yourself, you will love your spouse. You will work harder for you and your partner to become more like one.

Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing. What an amazing challenge for us all, to love without complaining.

So, I chellenge you to stop cheating your spouse and give them every thing.. Give them yourselves, don't cheat them of any bit of it.

What is He saying today?

Here is a post I wrote a year ago, I found my self coming back to it in order to remove the dust off what is important in life. I also was inspired by reading this post: Living like He's there by Sarah Markley.

I needed to prepre last Sat. for the Sunday school class I am teaching. I had to watch a Nooma video # 5 called Noise by Rob Bell. It is my first Nooma video.

Here is the video to watch for yourselves.

I had to watch it three times before I actually start teaching it. The fact that it presents is so deep. Just to record one hour of total silence required 2000 hours of record time.

The fact comes to mind, we try to fill our time, our schedule our daily life with so many things. See, today I have to plan my day and before the end the day, I have to plan tomorrow and if I don’t have any thing to do, I would have to find any thing to fill my day with. We view unfilled schedule as boredom time.

If we are on the highway, we turn on the radio and we may even have the radio on while talking on the phone. If we can’t find something better to do, we watch the billboards on the highway and if there isn’t much to see, we may complain of not having any thing to look at to consume our time.

Here is reality, we don’t have the attitude of thinking of our spare time as quality time that is an opportunity that is given to us to allow God to speak.
See, we go to church once or twice a week and during that time we speak a lot (praising and worshiping) then we listen to 30 min sermon for speaker of the day. But the video wants us to wander around trying to listen to what God have to say to us.

Do you ever wonder what He wants to say to you today? Do you want him in your life, leading it and inspiring it? So why don’t you allow him to talk and allow your self to listen?

See, if you yearn to have a close relationship with someone, you have to engage with that person in conversions and allow him to speak as much as you speak as well. When we are in love with someone, we look forward to their calls and can’t wait to get home to see them. We can't wait to have them call us and speak with us just for the sake yearning to listen to their voice on the other end of the call.

I believe that while I was teaching those kids in my Sunday school class about allowing God to speak. I have learned that I need to be silent and not only that, but also have the attitude to enjoy my silent time with him, trying to listen to what He got to say in Silence.

P.S. Silent/Listen have the same letters. In order to Listen, you must be Silent. In order to be Silent, you must not talk and Listen.

Couples: Winner in the transaction.

Pastor and preachers every where speak so much about love.... however the last few days I been talking to my self about a new concept (to me ofcourse) LOVE= INITIATION.

When pastors and preaches speaks about LOVE in the concept of relationships many explains how it is about Giving and Taking. But many of them fails to explain that Giving comes first. Giving is personsal responsibility that is task oriented matter that should be taken seriously.

Love isn't about giving and talking, because if you give when the expectation is to receive or take something back, it won't be love any more. it would be like a service contract with many lines that rules the relationship to do this, and I do that.

That is why, Jesus teach so much about how we should love other, like we love ourselves.. and how we should love our enemies whom never will return love back.

few days a go, a good and long time friend post this verse on her facebook: "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

Wow, the words are loud and clear.... when you care and love, you should not even consider what it given in return... Jesus Commend us to give, and give good, because that is how we are going to get paid back. Just like he command us to forgive because we will be forgiven according to our forgiveness to others...

God really put the responsibility on us. LOVE IS PERSONAL ACTION AND INITIATION is the key word. The words are clear, don't worry about when you are getting in return. simply give good. Love good, and give more.

My friend said "When I read that verse today, I thought we do not think about how much we gave in comparison to what we have. But we think about I did give, I did good, I'm a giving person."
So true, we don't measure how much we have, nor we think of how we give. The command is clear give good and don't even think or concern yourself of what in it for me.

Society teaches against those exact words of the bible. Society is about how much I ma getting back and how much I have to do to get it. Sometimes in our relationships we do that. We say to our partners, you do this and in return I will do that. We end up living according to the society rules and not the biblical way of love equal initiation.
Society is about measurements and who is the winner is the transaction. But in a relationship, there is not single winner and loser. the team either win or lose. The words are clear, GIVE, GOOD, PRESS, SHAKE. All verbs are telling us to do something, not to expect any thing.

So, today, take charge of your relationship destiny, work hard, give more, press forward and shake all troubles. take INITIATIONS and love into your own hands. After all Jesus took initiative in loving us and dying for us on the cross. He didn't expect much from us.

Couples: The sweetest email I ever recevied

I had to share this with the world, becuase it made me feel so good and it said so much about what is marriage is all about. I won't comment or say any thing, it speaks for it self.

From: "Joicy"
Date: Dec 1, 2009 8:08 AM
Subject: Re: FW:
To: "Moody"

"I Thank God for you cause you are my man.....even if I trip on your shibshib or leave your shoes in the family room, or the desk is full of papers or if you eat triple what I eat, or if you are too tall that I can not reach to kiss you :)"

Good article!!!" this article inspired Joicy to send me this email and go for it and read it, it will have the same effect.
From the blog Heart for Him by Sandra
http://sandrapeoples.blogspot.com/2009/11/you-marry-man.html

1 on 1 with Brooke Pt. 6

In this post, we asked Brooke about her advise in marriage and relationships. One thing I leaned so far to find the good in other couples and try to apply it in our marriage. Lets learn more from Her.

Is there any advice you would like to give to newly married couples?
Throw away the key. That’s a piece of advice we were given early in our marriage. We literally stood on a beach in North Carolina and threw a “key” into the ocean symbolizing that there is no way our marriage can be unlocked. There is no longer a key that can separate what God brought together. It’s a mental and spiritually symbolic commitment we made beyond the vows we took at our wedding.

I always say that a marriage with difficulties is a living marriage. What are your thoughts?
I whole-heartedly agree. Marriage is the joining together of two different, sinful, selfish people. There WILL be conflict. Any marriage that doesn’t show signs of conflict is, in my opinion, already dead…or at least very sick. The good news is that couples can be taught to always consider the other better than themselves and the art of healthy conflict.

How do you deal with conflict? How you can make the best out of it?
My natural, sinful, tendency is to attack. I’m a very passionate person and I usually think I’m right. Did you know that just because you have a scripture or two to back up your position you can still be wrong? Shocking, I know. It has to do with the state of the heart. Matthew 12:34 says, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” I think the first step to handling conflict well is to check your own heart. If I respond to my husband in anger, anger resides in my heart. His actions do not CAUSE me to behave in a certain way. They only bring out what already lived in my heart. This should cause me to stop and look at the state of my heart and ask the Lord to clean it up!

You make it sound so easy when you talk about submission in your real life article on the subject. Doesn't it get hard sometimes? How do you do it? Why do many women resist the idea?

I’ve learned that submission to my husband has practically nothing to do with trusting him and everything to do with trusting God. My ability to submit to my husband is a direct reflection of my heart’s response to trusting God to work through him. Even if he messes up along the way, God can still work out His plans for our marriage. And yes, accomplishing this is sometimes hard.
Women resist the idea of submission for many reasons, most notably because we’re living in a time where almost no one aspires to it as something of worth. Even our churches don’t teach it well because they’re under so much pressure to conform to the world. True submission is nothing short of a beautiful gift of the Lord. Women today don’t want to submit to anything. Again, this is a reflection of how far our hearts are from the truth.

How do you turn a relationship from just a marriage to a real friendship?
Sometimes it’s hard to laugh together. Marriage can easily become a game of one-upmanship. (“I can’t believe you want me to do that. I worked eight hours today and you got to stay home!) And when there’s a constant battle to get what you think you deserve being friends becomes less of a priority.

But the bottom line is that to get to know anyone, spouse or not, you have to spend time with them. My husband and I struggle in this area. His shift-work and lack of babysitters makes it very difficult for us to schedule nights out on a regular basis. In fact, it occurred to me a few years ago that it would be very easy for us to be totally isolated as a family. We have to work hard for everything. But that’s ok. Because the best kind of love is that which is worth working for.

One thing I’ve been very thankful for in my marriage is that my husband and I had already established a deep and lasting friendship before we got married. We waited to have sex (though there were PLENTY of temptations…he’s a hotty ya’ll) until our wedding night (funny story…I’ll tell you about it sometime). The world wants us to believe that a good, strong relationship is built on sexual compatibility or romantic love and it’s just NOT. When that newborn baby is draining every ounce of strength you have and the thought of sex is the farthest thing from your mind, you’ll be glad you married your best friend. In other words, life is full of ups and downs. Sexual passion and desire comes and goes (I know it’s hard to believe…but it does), but friendship provides a strong undergirding for a marriage. Sometimes my husband and I disagree (shock! gasp!) quite passionately about things like raising the children, spending money, scheduling events, etc. But I know that I’m arguing with my best friend and that I’m safe with him. His friendship gives me a safe place to land.

Brooke blogs daily at A Life in Need of Change. Get to know her better by subscribing to her blog and walking with her through the everyday.

You can also find her tweeting almost daily as @BrookeLMcG

Brooke, Thank you very much once again for being a guest on our blog. We learned a lot how to be humble with in our walk in marriage, we learned how to pray and put others in front of the Lord. We are so looking forward to the next time we have you over. God bless all you heart work, because it is done from the heart.

1 on 1 with Brooke Pt. 5

The importance of prayer in marriage, we wanted to learn from Brooke, how prayers work in her life and her family.

Once said "The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words: I did not have time." How do you deal with time management? And how do you see this relating to marriage?
I absolutely reject the modern concept that says, “quality over quantity.” Basically, the world would have us to believe that it doesn’t matter how much time we spend with our families as long as the time we do have with them is good. I just don’t buy it. Why have a family if you never spend time with them? The people who have made the greatest impact on my life are those who have given me the gift of their time. I’ve often said of my relationships “I don’t want gifts, I want YOU.”

About a year ago my husband and I made a choice that required some sacrifice. Although I had been working part-time since the birth of our first child, we found that the amount of hours I was away from our home were still just too many. Our children were spending more time with people other than us and their hearts were being shaped by people who, while good, didn’t share the same child-rearing goals we did. So now I’m out of my home just two full days a week and work from home another few hours. It has been a step in the right direction. We now feel that we will be able to look back on these years and know that we fully experienced our children’s formative years…difficult as they may be. All human relationships require investments of time to succeed.

Decreasing my time outside of my home has given me much-needed flexibility so that I can be more attentive to my husband’s needs. I can be off when he’s off much of the time and when we can’t eat dinner together because of his work schedule, often we can eat another meal. Letting go of some of the “crazy” in this way has only benefitted out marriage.

How much do you pray with your husband? How much do you pray for him? Is it all the time? My husband spent 32 weeks in preparation for his current job while we were dating…away from home during the week. It was one of the most stressful seasons of his life. During that time we began a daily habit that has lasted through the almost eight years of our marriage. Prayer. Each day he would call me before his stressful day began and I would ask for God’s provision in his life. That was close to ten years ago now and it’s still something we do almost every day. Heads bowed we seek the Lord’s protection and covering over each other. I truly treasure this habit!

How do you see the role of prayer in your life and your husband’s life? Really how often do you pray for him?
I pray for my husband at least two times a day, but usually much more than just two. Guaranteed are the prayers before work and at night (I lay my hand on his side while he’s sleeping).

Prayer in marriage is so much more important than language. I’m learning to take my heart to the Lord. My fears, faults, anger, sadness, disappointment, happiness and joy are best carried by the Lord. He is, afterall, the One who turns hearts of stone to hearts of flesh (Ez 36:26), not I.

It is so exciting to see and read Brooke takes about prayer in such passion, It is so encourging yet put us to shame for not doing the same.
Want to read more about prayer, go read her blog. A life in need of change.
You can also find her tweeting almost daily as @BrookeLMcG

Friday will be ou last post from our interview with Brooke, so don't forget to stop by and read more about her.

1 on 1 with Brooke Pt 4

Good morning all, it is amazing how much you know about someone when you ask the right questions. just by asking a few questions, we dig deeper and deeper. Brooke is an amazing woman we can't get enough of her. So, come and join our conversion.
How do you manage to have time to do every thing in the house, yet to minister to other women and manage to have a happy marriage?
Honestly, sometimes I’m not sure I do a really good job at any of it! The Lord blessed me with a man who is a hard worker. He does as much, if not more than I do around the house at times and isn’t above doing anything. My home is not always spic and span. And while I would like for it to be perfect…something out of Southern Living to be exact…I know that for my family, right now, it’s just not going to happen. Letting my expectations slip a little in this area helps me stress less. I think there have only been a few times when I would’ve been embarrassed for someone to stop by unannounced. I spend brief, but concentrated and scheduled amounts of time on my home each week. And because my husband works shift-work, he spends time cleaning and doing laundry when he’s home. I’ve learned the hard way only to say “yes” to those things I believe the Lord has called me to and I try hard to think about how everything I do affects my husband.

I do want to be clear though, that while I love ministering to women, both in my job and through my writing, my family comes first. Writing, in particular, feeds my soul, but my priority is my family. How can I encourage other women to love their children and husbands well if I’m not doing it myself?

What are your thoughts on marriage? And how would you describe yours?
Right before I got married I went through a scary, but important season where I feared getting married would set me up to invite someone to hurt me for the rest of my life. I knew my husband wasn’t perfect and I knew that he would sin against me. I also knew that marriage would bring me closer to God, but I wondered, briefly, if the pain I might experience from letting someone get that close, was really worth it.

Marriage is hard. And it’s nothing like I thought it would be and everything I thought it would be all at the same time.

Marriage is also work. I remember a time when I mistakenly believed that real love shouldn’t require a lot of work.

I’m wife to the man I’ve had a crush on since the 3rd grade...really...I’ve been in some form of love with this man since I was a wee one...but the Lord didn't officially bring us together until I was 20 years old when our families connived behind our backs and set us up to fall in love. And fall we did! I spent almost four years dating a man who's seal was firmly upon my heart! We had a fairy tale courtship...made for each other...can't get enough of each other...soul connection kind of love. And I hang on to my memories of that love every day.

Because I’ve learned that love is NEVER enough. Marriage requires a total commitment from both parties, especially when things get hard.

My marriage is far from perfect. With a husband that works shift-work, two very young, very high energy little boys, a part-time job and plenty of stress, it’s often hard to focus on our marriage and give it the time we want to. We’re learning to be intentional with our time and to each put the other person first.

Also, kindness goes a long way in marriage. Proverbs 15:1 says, “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This is never more true than in marriage.

Once said "The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words: I did not have time." How do you deal with time management? And how do you see this relating to marriage?

I absolutely reject the modern concept that says, “quality over quantity.” Basically, the world would have us to believe that it doesn’t matter how much time we spend with our families as long as the time we do have with them is good. I just don’t buy it. Why have a family if you never spend time with them? The people who have made the greatest impact on my life are those who have given me the gift of their time. I’ve often said of my relationships “I don’t want gifts, I want YOU.”

About a year ago my husband and I made a choice that required some sacrifice. Although I had been working part-time since the birth of our first child, we found that the amount of hours I was away from our home were still just too many. Our children were spending more time with people other than us and their hearts were being shaped by people who, while good, didn’t share the same child-rearing goals we did. So now I’m out of my home just two full days a week and work from home another few hours. It has been a step in the right direction. We now feel that we will be able to look back on these years and know that we fully experienced our children’s formative years…difficult as they may be. All human relationships require investments of time to succeed.

Decreasing my time outside of my home has given me much-needed flexibility so that I can be more attentive to my husband’s needs. I can be off when he’s off much of the time and when we can’t eat dinner together because of his work schedule, often we can eat another meal. Letting go of some of the “crazy” in this way has only benefitted out marriage.

Like I said, we can't get enough of her, So come Wednesday morning for another post with Brook.

1 on 1 with Brooke, Pt 3

Tell us about your Elijah Prayer Project? How did it start and what is its purpose?

I’ve always loved to pray scripture. It’s not that I can’t find my own words to pray…but honestly…why spend any effort trying to come up with my own words when everything I need is right there in the Word? I’ve been a serious Word-prayer for a few years now.

I love to encourage friends and family with the promises of God’s Word for their lives…you can often find sticky notes placed all around my house with scriptures I’m praying for my family…A few months ago I began praying Malachi 4:5-6 for my husband.
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers…”

Every day it seems I hear a story about another failure…another child whose life hung in the balance when a father turned away. I’ve been reading statistics about fatherless families and the irreplaceable impact of the father on sons and daughters. Ironically, it research shows that while moms are important, dads are even more so.I watch my husband, devoted as he is to us, try to shoulder that great responsibility…and I see him sometimes weighted down by the heaviness of it and I know he needs me. But not in the way you might think…I believe the best thing I can do for my husband is to pray for him. In fact, I want to suggest that we start praying for the fathers in our lives now more than ever.

The Elijah Prayer Project is my attempt to bring mothers together to pray for the fathers of their children. Whether they are single moms, happily or unhappily married, divorced or separated doesn’t really matter. Their children need fathers whose hearts are turned toward God and toward them.

Elijah Prayer Project happens each Thursday on my blog and is a place for moms to ask for prayer, share what they’re praying for dads and encourage one another to press on. It is NOT a place to come bash men or share info from the “more than I needed to know” file. Each week I list instructions and rules so that the purpose of the project is clear

In your years of marriage, what have you learned about the wife’s role in the man’s life and how she can influence her husband?

Early in my marriage, after an intense fight with my husband, the Lord led me to 1 Peter 3: 1-6. I had read these verses explaining the wife’s responsibility to be subject to their own husbands many times before. But that day, as I was crying out to the Lord for insight, He showed me something different. I noticed that God, through Peter, placed great emphasis on Sarah, raising her up as an example to women everywhere. It had been a long time since I read the entire story of Abraham and Sarah, so there, in my bedroom, fresh out of a fight with the love of my life, I plowed through five or six chapters of Genesis and what God showed me changed my life. You can read all of my thoughts on submission on my blog. I’ve actually re-organized them into a Bible study I call “Imperishable Beauty,” and I hope to have it published someday.

In another words: How do you see the role a woman can play in her marriage and in her husband’s life? Why do many underestimate the wife’s role in marriage and in the husband’s life?
As Christians, we are Christ’s ambassadors on the earth. That means we represent Him to the people in our lives, most importantly, our husbands and children. To wives (including myself) I ask these questions: Based on your heart and your behaviors, who does your husband think Christ is? What are you showing your husband about Christ’s heart toward him? Are you showing him that Christ is compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love? Or are you showing him a false Christ who loves only when loved in return, isn’t a safe place to fall and cares nothing for the issues of his life? The answer to this question matters! Today’s woman underestimates her influence over her husband because we’re so obsessed with what we think we deserve in our marriage. Christ asks us to lay down our expectations, what we think we have a right to and what we think we deserve in order to follow Him…and nothing else. We’re being duped into believing in something that only exists in fairy tales.

It was another great post from our interview with Brooke, and there is more to come. Check out the next post first thing Monday morning. But now, you can read more of her writing on her blog a life in need of change.