Z. Couple.: 2009

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Couples: Winner in the transaction.

Pastor and preachers every where speak so much about love.... however the last few days I been talking to my self about a new concept (to me ofcourse) LOVE= INITIATION.

When pastors and preaches speaks about LOVE in the concept of relationships many explains how it is about Giving and Taking. But many of them fails to explain that Giving comes first. Giving is personsal responsibility that is task oriented matter that should be taken seriously.

Love isn't about giving and talking, because if you give when the expectation is to receive or take something back, it won't be love any more. it would be like a service contract with many lines that rules the relationship to do this, and I do that.

That is why, Jesus teach so much about how we should love other, like we love ourselves.. and how we should love our enemies whom never will return love back.

few days a go, a good and long time friend post this verse on her facebook: "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

Wow, the words are loud and clear.... when you care and love, you should not even consider what it given in return... Jesus Commend us to give, and give good, because that is how we are going to get paid back. Just like he command us to forgive because we will be forgiven according to our forgiveness to others...

God really put the responsibility on us. LOVE IS PERSONAL ACTION AND INITIATION is the key word. The words are clear, don't worry about when you are getting in return. simply give good. Love good, and give more.

My friend said "When I read that verse today, I thought we do not think about how much we gave in comparison to what we have. But we think about I did give, I did good, I'm a giving person."
So true, we don't measure how much we have, nor we think of how we give. The command is clear give good and don't even think or concern yourself of what in it for me.

Society teaches against those exact words of the bible. Society is about how much I ma getting back and how much I have to do to get it. Sometimes in our relationships we do that. We say to our partners, you do this and in return I will do that. We end up living according to the society rules and not the biblical way of love equal initiation.
Society is about measurements and who is the winner is the transaction. But in a relationship, there is not single winner and loser. the team either win or lose. The words are clear, GIVE, GOOD, PRESS, SHAKE. All verbs are telling us to do something, not to expect any thing.

So, today, take charge of your relationship destiny, work hard, give more, press forward and shake all troubles. take INITIATIONS and love into your own hands. After all Jesus took initiative in loving us and dying for us on the cross. He didn't expect much from us.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Couples: The sweetest email I ever recevied

I had to share this with the world, becuase it made me feel so good and it said so much about what is marriage is all about. I won't comment or say any thing, it speaks for it self.

From: "Joicy"
Date: Dec 1, 2009 8:08 AM
Subject: Re: FW:
To: "Moody"

"I Thank God for you cause you are my man.....even if I trip on your shibshib or leave your shoes in the family room, or the desk is full of papers or if you eat triple what I eat, or if you are too tall that I can not reach to kiss you :)"

Good article!!!" this article inspired Joicy to send me this email and go for it and read it, it will have the same effect.
From the blog Heart for Him by Sandra
http://sandrapeoples.blogspot.com/2009/11/you-marry-man.html

Friday, November 13, 2009

1 on 1 with Brooke Pt. 6

In this post, we asked Brooke about her advise in marriage and relationships. One thing I leaned so far to find the good in other couples and try to apply it in our marriage. Lets learn more from Her.

Is there any advice you would like to give to newly married couples?
Throw away the key. That’s a piece of advice we were given early in our marriage. We literally stood on a beach in North Carolina and threw a “key” into the ocean symbolizing that there is no way our marriage can be unlocked. There is no longer a key that can separate what God brought together. It’s a mental and spiritually symbolic commitment we made beyond the vows we took at our wedding.

I always say that a marriage with difficulties is a living marriage. What are your thoughts?
I whole-heartedly agree. Marriage is the joining together of two different, sinful, selfish people. There WILL be conflict. Any marriage that doesn’t show signs of conflict is, in my opinion, already dead…or at least very sick. The good news is that couples can be taught to always consider the other better than themselves and the art of healthy conflict.

How do you deal with conflict? How you can make the best out of it?
My natural, sinful, tendency is to attack. I’m a very passionate person and I usually think I’m right. Did you know that just because you have a scripture or two to back up your position you can still be wrong? Shocking, I know. It has to do with the state of the heart. Matthew 12:34 says, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” I think the first step to handling conflict well is to check your own heart. If I respond to my husband in anger, anger resides in my heart. His actions do not CAUSE me to behave in a certain way. They only bring out what already lived in my heart. This should cause me to stop and look at the state of my heart and ask the Lord to clean it up!

You make it sound so easy when you talk about submission in your real life article on the subject. Doesn't it get hard sometimes? How do you do it? Why do many women resist the idea?

I’ve learned that submission to my husband has practically nothing to do with trusting him and everything to do with trusting God. My ability to submit to my husband is a direct reflection of my heart’s response to trusting God to work through him. Even if he messes up along the way, God can still work out His plans for our marriage. And yes, accomplishing this is sometimes hard.
Women resist the idea of submission for many reasons, most notably because we’re living in a time where almost no one aspires to it as something of worth. Even our churches don’t teach it well because they’re under so much pressure to conform to the world. True submission is nothing short of a beautiful gift of the Lord. Women today don’t want to submit to anything. Again, this is a reflection of how far our hearts are from the truth.

How do you turn a relationship from just a marriage to a real friendship?
Sometimes it’s hard to laugh together. Marriage can easily become a game of one-upmanship. (“I can’t believe you want me to do that. I worked eight hours today and you got to stay home!) And when there’s a constant battle to get what you think you deserve being friends becomes less of a priority.

But the bottom line is that to get to know anyone, spouse or not, you have to spend time with them. My husband and I struggle in this area. His shift-work and lack of babysitters makes it very difficult for us to schedule nights out on a regular basis. In fact, it occurred to me a few years ago that it would be very easy for us to be totally isolated as a family. We have to work hard for everything. But that’s ok. Because the best kind of love is that which is worth working for.

One thing I’ve been very thankful for in my marriage is that my husband and I had already established a deep and lasting friendship before we got married. We waited to have sex (though there were PLENTY of temptations…he’s a hotty ya’ll) until our wedding night (funny story…I’ll tell you about it sometime). The world wants us to believe that a good, strong relationship is built on sexual compatibility or romantic love and it’s just NOT. When that newborn baby is draining every ounce of strength you have and the thought of sex is the farthest thing from your mind, you’ll be glad you married your best friend. In other words, life is full of ups and downs. Sexual passion and desire comes and goes (I know it’s hard to believe…but it does), but friendship provides a strong undergirding for a marriage. Sometimes my husband and I disagree (shock! gasp!) quite passionately about things like raising the children, spending money, scheduling events, etc. But I know that I’m arguing with my best friend and that I’m safe with him. His friendship gives me a safe place to land.

Brooke blogs daily at A Life in Need of Change. Get to know her better by subscribing to her blog and walking with her through the everyday.

You can also find her tweeting almost daily as @BrookeLMcG

Brooke, Thank you very much once again for being a guest on our blog. We learned a lot how to be humble with in our walk in marriage, we learned how to pray and put others in front of the Lord. We are so looking forward to the next time we have you over. God bless all you heart work, because it is done from the heart.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

1 on 1 with Brooke Pt. 5

The importance of prayer in marriage, we wanted to learn from Brooke, how prayers work in her life and her family.

Once said "The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words: I did not have time." How do you deal with time management? And how do you see this relating to marriage?
I absolutely reject the modern concept that says, “quality over quantity.” Basically, the world would have us to believe that it doesn’t matter how much time we spend with our families as long as the time we do have with them is good. I just don’t buy it. Why have a family if you never spend time with them? The people who have made the greatest impact on my life are those who have given me the gift of their time. I’ve often said of my relationships “I don’t want gifts, I want YOU.”

About a year ago my husband and I made a choice that required some sacrifice. Although I had been working part-time since the birth of our first child, we found that the amount of hours I was away from our home were still just too many. Our children were spending more time with people other than us and their hearts were being shaped by people who, while good, didn’t share the same child-rearing goals we did. So now I’m out of my home just two full days a week and work from home another few hours. It has been a step in the right direction. We now feel that we will be able to look back on these years and know that we fully experienced our children’s formative years…difficult as they may be. All human relationships require investments of time to succeed.

Decreasing my time outside of my home has given me much-needed flexibility so that I can be more attentive to my husband’s needs. I can be off when he’s off much of the time and when we can’t eat dinner together because of his work schedule, often we can eat another meal. Letting go of some of the “crazy” in this way has only benefitted out marriage.

How much do you pray with your husband? How much do you pray for him? Is it all the time? My husband spent 32 weeks in preparation for his current job while we were dating…away from home during the week. It was one of the most stressful seasons of his life. During that time we began a daily habit that has lasted through the almost eight years of our marriage. Prayer. Each day he would call me before his stressful day began and I would ask for God’s provision in his life. That was close to ten years ago now and it’s still something we do almost every day. Heads bowed we seek the Lord’s protection and covering over each other. I truly treasure this habit!

How do you see the role of prayer in your life and your husband’s life? Really how often do you pray for him?
I pray for my husband at least two times a day, but usually much more than just two. Guaranteed are the prayers before work and at night (I lay my hand on his side while he’s sleeping).

Prayer in marriage is so much more important than language. I’m learning to take my heart to the Lord. My fears, faults, anger, sadness, disappointment, happiness and joy are best carried by the Lord. He is, afterall, the One who turns hearts of stone to hearts of flesh (Ez 36:26), not I.

It is so exciting to see and read Brooke takes about prayer in such passion, It is so encourging yet put us to shame for not doing the same.
Want to read more about prayer, go read her blog. A life in need of change.
You can also find her tweeting almost daily as @BrookeLMcG

Friday will be ou last post from our interview with Brooke, so don't forget to stop by and read more about her.

Monday, November 9, 2009

1 on 1 with Brooke Pt 4

Good morning all, it is amazing how much you know about someone when you ask the right questions. just by asking a few questions, we dig deeper and deeper. Brooke is an amazing woman we can't get enough of her. So, come and join our conversion.
How do you manage to have time to do every thing in the house, yet to minister to other women and manage to have a happy marriage?
Honestly, sometimes I’m not sure I do a really good job at any of it! The Lord blessed me with a man who is a hard worker. He does as much, if not more than I do around the house at times and isn’t above doing anything. My home is not always spic and span. And while I would like for it to be perfect…something out of Southern Living to be exact…I know that for my family, right now, it’s just not going to happen. Letting my expectations slip a little in this area helps me stress less. I think there have only been a few times when I would’ve been embarrassed for someone to stop by unannounced. I spend brief, but concentrated and scheduled amounts of time on my home each week. And because my husband works shift-work, he spends time cleaning and doing laundry when he’s home. I’ve learned the hard way only to say “yes” to those things I believe the Lord has called me to and I try hard to think about how everything I do affects my husband.

I do want to be clear though, that while I love ministering to women, both in my job and through my writing, my family comes first. Writing, in particular, feeds my soul, but my priority is my family. How can I encourage other women to love their children and husbands well if I’m not doing it myself?

What are your thoughts on marriage? And how would you describe yours?
Right before I got married I went through a scary, but important season where I feared getting married would set me up to invite someone to hurt me for the rest of my life. I knew my husband wasn’t perfect and I knew that he would sin against me. I also knew that marriage would bring me closer to God, but I wondered, briefly, if the pain I might experience from letting someone get that close, was really worth it.

Marriage is hard. And it’s nothing like I thought it would be and everything I thought it would be all at the same time.

Marriage is also work. I remember a time when I mistakenly believed that real love shouldn’t require a lot of work.

I’m wife to the man I’ve had a crush on since the 3rd grade...really...I’ve been in some form of love with this man since I was a wee one...but the Lord didn't officially bring us together until I was 20 years old when our families connived behind our backs and set us up to fall in love. And fall we did! I spent almost four years dating a man who's seal was firmly upon my heart! We had a fairy tale courtship...made for each other...can't get enough of each other...soul connection kind of love. And I hang on to my memories of that love every day.

Because I’ve learned that love is NEVER enough. Marriage requires a total commitment from both parties, especially when things get hard.

My marriage is far from perfect. With a husband that works shift-work, two very young, very high energy little boys, a part-time job and plenty of stress, it’s often hard to focus on our marriage and give it the time we want to. We’re learning to be intentional with our time and to each put the other person first.

Also, kindness goes a long way in marriage. Proverbs 15:1 says, “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This is never more true than in marriage.

Once said "The great dividing line between success and failure can be expressed in five words: I did not have time." How do you deal with time management? And how do you see this relating to marriage?

I absolutely reject the modern concept that says, “quality over quantity.” Basically, the world would have us to believe that it doesn’t matter how much time we spend with our families as long as the time we do have with them is good. I just don’t buy it. Why have a family if you never spend time with them? The people who have made the greatest impact on my life are those who have given me the gift of their time. I’ve often said of my relationships “I don’t want gifts, I want YOU.”

About a year ago my husband and I made a choice that required some sacrifice. Although I had been working part-time since the birth of our first child, we found that the amount of hours I was away from our home were still just too many. Our children were spending more time with people other than us and their hearts were being shaped by people who, while good, didn’t share the same child-rearing goals we did. So now I’m out of my home just two full days a week and work from home another few hours. It has been a step in the right direction. We now feel that we will be able to look back on these years and know that we fully experienced our children’s formative years…difficult as they may be. All human relationships require investments of time to succeed.

Decreasing my time outside of my home has given me much-needed flexibility so that I can be more attentive to my husband’s needs. I can be off when he’s off much of the time and when we can’t eat dinner together because of his work schedule, often we can eat another meal. Letting go of some of the “crazy” in this way has only benefitted out marriage.

Like I said, we can't get enough of her, So come Wednesday morning for another post with Brook.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

1 on 1 with Brooke, Pt 3

Tell us about your Elijah Prayer Project? How did it start and what is its purpose?

I’ve always loved to pray scripture. It’s not that I can’t find my own words to pray…but honestly…why spend any effort trying to come up with my own words when everything I need is right there in the Word? I’ve been a serious Word-prayer for a few years now.

I love to encourage friends and family with the promises of God’s Word for their lives…you can often find sticky notes placed all around my house with scriptures I’m praying for my family…A few months ago I began praying Malachi 4:5-6 for my husband.
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers…”

Every day it seems I hear a story about another failure…another child whose life hung in the balance when a father turned away. I’ve been reading statistics about fatherless families and the irreplaceable impact of the father on sons and daughters. Ironically, it research shows that while moms are important, dads are even more so.I watch my husband, devoted as he is to us, try to shoulder that great responsibility…and I see him sometimes weighted down by the heaviness of it and I know he needs me. But not in the way you might think…I believe the best thing I can do for my husband is to pray for him. In fact, I want to suggest that we start praying for the fathers in our lives now more than ever.

The Elijah Prayer Project is my attempt to bring mothers together to pray for the fathers of their children. Whether they are single moms, happily or unhappily married, divorced or separated doesn’t really matter. Their children need fathers whose hearts are turned toward God and toward them.

Elijah Prayer Project happens each Thursday on my blog and is a place for moms to ask for prayer, share what they’re praying for dads and encourage one another to press on. It is NOT a place to come bash men or share info from the “more than I needed to know” file. Each week I list instructions and rules so that the purpose of the project is clear

In your years of marriage, what have you learned about the wife’s role in the man’s life and how she can influence her husband?

Early in my marriage, after an intense fight with my husband, the Lord led me to 1 Peter 3: 1-6. I had read these verses explaining the wife’s responsibility to be subject to their own husbands many times before. But that day, as I was crying out to the Lord for insight, He showed me something different. I noticed that God, through Peter, placed great emphasis on Sarah, raising her up as an example to women everywhere. It had been a long time since I read the entire story of Abraham and Sarah, so there, in my bedroom, fresh out of a fight with the love of my life, I plowed through five or six chapters of Genesis and what God showed me changed my life. You can read all of my thoughts on submission on my blog. I’ve actually re-organized them into a Bible study I call “Imperishable Beauty,” and I hope to have it published someday.

In another words: How do you see the role a woman can play in her marriage and in her husband’s life? Why do many underestimate the wife’s role in marriage and in the husband’s life?
As Christians, we are Christ’s ambassadors on the earth. That means we represent Him to the people in our lives, most importantly, our husbands and children. To wives (including myself) I ask these questions: Based on your heart and your behaviors, who does your husband think Christ is? What are you showing your husband about Christ’s heart toward him? Are you showing him that Christ is compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love? Or are you showing him a false Christ who loves only when loved in return, isn’t a safe place to fall and cares nothing for the issues of his life? The answer to this question matters! Today’s woman underestimates her influence over her husband because we’re so obsessed with what we think we deserve in our marriage. Christ asks us to lay down our expectations, what we think we have a right to and what we think we deserve in order to follow Him…and nothing else. We’re being duped into believing in something that only exists in fairy tales.

It was another great post from our interview with Brooke, and there is more to come. Check out the next post first thing Monday morning. But now, you can read more of her writing on her blog a life in need of change.

Friday, November 6, 2009

1 on 1 with Brooke, Pt 2

Here we are back with Brooke, we did learn a little about her in the last post, now, it is time to dig deeper and find more, it is just like treasure hunt..
Don't forget to stop by her blo A life in need of change to read more of her amazing writing.

What is the current book you are reading?
I just finished reading “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” by Patrick Lencioni. My CEO asked me to read it. It’s not a Christian book, but it provides great insight into the process and importance of building a strong team in the workplace.

Tell us about your passion to help women, how it started, and where it is going?
I first came into contact with Pregnancy Care Ministry when I was in graduate school at Liberty University. While volunteering just two hours per week in order to fulfill a requirement for community service the school required, I fell in love. I found that when my time was up, I didn’t want to leave. As time went by I found ways to spend more and more time there, eventually choosing to do my practicum and internship in similar settings.

Many women and men are drawn to the pregnancy center ministry because of an abortion in their past. They desire to give truth and be used of the Lord in someone else’s life. I LOVE this real life example of comforting others with the comfort we’ve been given (2 Cor 1:4), but I don’t have that same story. I never had a crisis pregnancy. My struggle was learning to love God more than my sin. It took several failed relationships, the last of which was a devastating loss, for me to realize that God’s way really was the best way. It was out of a desire to help others see that relationships could be healthy and honor God that I was first drawn to pregnancy center ministry.

Over the past nine years I have served in various roles in five different pregnancy centers in my state. I’ve been a volunteer counselor, receptionist, board member and paid staff. I love ministry to women and I see abortion and sexual immorality in general as one of the most pervasive issues the church faces today. Abortion touches every part of who a woman is. It affects her physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have seen so many women and men broken from this choice and my heart is to help them find forgiveness and freedom in Christ while at the same time spreading truth to women still considering their options. I’m not an activist and I don’t ever see myself in that role. God has called me to a compassionate response to a devastating issue and I can’t wait to see new levels of freedom in the church as His forgiveness and restoration spread.

What do these words means to you? God, suffering, little things, wisdom, mistakes, destiny, doubt and husband?
God - provider, protector, lover of my soul, sovereign, full of grace, creator, sustainer and rock.

Suffering – the means by which God often chooses to bring us to our knees in repentance, bring deeper levels of awareness of Him, an opportunity to count it all joy (though I’m not great at this).

Little things – the everyday opportunities God gives us to be found faithful.

Wisdom – fear of the Lord (reverent awe of who He is and who I am not.)

Mistakes – not always the same thing as sin. Opportunities to grow in humility.

Destiny – God’s reason for our being.

Doubt – a normal feeling associated with not understanding the ways of God. Doubt must, at some point, be replaced with faith, which comes from deep relationship with and love for Christ.

Husband – best friend, lover, team leader, most used of the Lord to show me my sin and give me opportunity to grow.

We got few more post to publish before we end our interview with Brooke, come Sat morning to read more, or just subscribe and don't miss any. We are going to dig deeeeper :)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

From the Pit to the Palace

Haven't you been in situations that you asked God why is this happening to me? why did you let this happen? I was so good to you God and don't deserve what is happening to me!!! When you are feeling this way, remember Joseph......his brothers threw him in the pit but he ended up leading the land in king Pharaoh's palace where God has put him. God allows us to be in these situations so he can be praised and glorified. He can also use our silliest mistakes to bring glory to his name.

God arranged everything that happened to Joseph from being in the pit all the way to being in the palace. None of what happened to Joseph was a coincidence, God had arranged it all and was in control of every minute of it. When we are in these satiations we should not feel that God had left us, we should not feel that we are alone, we should trust in Him that He is in control. Just remember that He is arranging everything to come together for a good purpose.....His name.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

1 on 1 with Brooke, a life in need of change. Pt 1

Today we are going to post the first part of our interview with Brooke, the woman, wife and the servant of many behind the amazing blog "A life in need of change". A blog that is must read and a woman that we are honored to have on our blog to learn from her.

Lets start to getting to know her more and get closer to the woman who plays a major role in her family, marriage and church.

How would you introduce yourself to others? But also how you introduce your self to God?
My name is Brooke McGlothlin and I’m a 31 year-old woman whose life is constantly in need of change. I’m a girl from the country…a tiny one stoplight town in Virginia that I will always love. I have two degrees, a BS in Psychology from Virginia Tech and a MA Counseling from Liberty University that reflect hard work and determination more than intellectual ability. I am married to the man I’ve had a crush on since the 3rd grade (really…it’s a neat story) and we have two precious little boys, just 23 months apart, who are the joy of our lives but who also suck the life out of us at times J (You’ll find that I have a passion for being real!) For almost 10 years now the Lord has captured my heart in service to women who are facing unplanned pregnancies. I worked full-time in Pregnancy Care Ministry before the birth of my first son and now chose to give as much of my life and time as possible to my two boys. Part-time now, I serve my local ministry as Director of Clinical Services and will celebrate seven years there this summer!

To God: Because of Your Son, my name is redeemed, restored, renewed. My name is beautifully broken, wonderfully cleansed and no longer what it was.

If you could summarize your life in one word, what would it be and why?
Real. Some of my family tells me that I'm too open about my life and that I share too much about my business with other people. My family is known for being private. It's just the way they are. But I feel completely confident that the Lord has called me to something different…to be open and real before Him and others. The past few years of my life have proven to me that the enemy has significant power over us when we don't share the truth. We feel like we're all alone and that no one has ever experienced what we're living through.

This is a lie, as one of my best friends would put it, straight from the pit of hell. Satan wants us to believe that we're alone. When we believe no one understands, He has power over us to defeat us and keep us from the abundant life we’ve been promised as our inheritance in the Lord. There is freedom, friends, in releasing the truth. There is power in knowing that you're not alone...that you're normal in your struggles and that people have walked through what you're walking through and passed through to the other side with victory.

My reality isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always what I want it to be, or what I dreamed it would be, but it’s what God is using to teach me and mold me. Sharing that with others builds a sense of community, unity and openness for growth, which is really what “A Life in Need of Change” is all about.

Why did you start blogging and how do you find time for it?
I began writing for my blog about 2 years ago. I hoped it would provide a place to keep my family updated about our latest news and the antics of our children woven together with encouragement from the Word and what the Lord was teaching me through my life. In August of this year I wrote an article entitled “Trivial Pursuit” which shared how life is really not about me (or you). The response from my family and friends was so positive that I kept it up! Over the past three months my blog has morphed into a place of encouragement and ministry to families, most notably, women. I look for God to show up in the everyday, and believe it or not, He ALWAYS does!

I could literally curl up in my favorite chair and write for hours…so deep is the love I have found for this art. But I do have a family J so I try to spend about one hour each evening after my children have gone to bed creating the next day’s post and learning tips and tricks of the trade along the way. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I can grab an hour or two over the weekend to prepare the next week’s posts, but this is a treat, not a common occurrence.

How did you come up with the name of your blog? “A life in need of change”
Paul David Tripp wrote a book entitled “Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change.” Outside of the Bible, this book has become my most valued guide in developing relationships with people and being used of the Lord in their lives. As a person whose educational pursuits gravitated toward the helping professions I find it an invaluable resource for the Biblical ministry of change. In spite of the fact that I am trained in Psychology and Counseling I believe in Scripture as the sole and supreme manual on the state of man and I believe it has the key to unlocking man’s heart. This book is Tripp’s effort, along with the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, to restore counseling to the church and prepare people whose own lives are in need of change to help others. I simply love that concept and have internalized it in my life. It is the expression of my heart, so when the time came to pick a title for my blog, it seemed like the best fit.

That was first of many parts from our interview with Brooke, Come Thusday Morning to read the second part. For now, check out her blog..."A life in need of change".

Monday, November 2, 2009

Couples: Make dreams come ture

See marriage suppose to be there to help making dreams come true. The question is, are you helping your spouse getting there. Are you holding your spouse back or are you encourage him or her to be what she or he want to be.

Show the love you have for your spouse by asking him or her about their dreams. Express interest that you want to be part of their dream or at least be there to support them.

Do you think about your spouse happiness? Do you know what makes him or her happy? If you think you know, you still need to ask. Expressing such interest is the key to express love.

Once you find out what is it their dream, work hard to be a helping hand in achieving it. There is nothing more valuable to show caring and love to one another.

Here is anther advise, if you spouse does not have any specifics on goals or dreams. Then go talk the second step. Ask them to create a dream or a goal together, think of something that you both like to create, make and achieve. This way, that dream will aligns your thoughts and bring even closers.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Couples: Trust & Risk!! Given or Earned??

Trust is something entrusted in all aspects of our lives; dating, friendships, family members, co-workers, and on and on. Trust is the ultimate foundation for any of these relationships to be successful, as well as meaningful. Some claim trust should be earned, and others feel trust should be given freely to others unless the trust is broken in some way.

I have to say that I agree with both concepts. just as a bird trusts its wings to carry it flying, (it is given). Yet once those wings are broken, it needs to be fixed, (earned and repaired).

How this REALLY works? How our relationships grow without having trust... How it is possible that you will grow to know someone without trusting them?

Risk,,, everyone whom want to grow in their relationship, you need to take the risk to trust your spouse...Just like we trust God, we risk having our prayers and requests not answered. But we trust always to have Him looking after us.

Do you trust your spouse, What is holding you back? I encourage you to talk more about it with your partner. Tell him, tell her, that you want your relationship to grow stronger, closer. Express your needs to feel secure. You and I need to take the risk, walk to your spouse and express your feelings to trust them in order to move to the higher level of your relationship.

But here are some signs of mistrust.... Are you ready?
Do you see a lot of I and You in your conversions? For example, "I bought this and that is how much I spent". "You need to realized how much I make". There aren't a lot of "WE" make so much, or we bought this or that.

Relationships are trees, and there is no tree can grow with cracks in its root. See Trust is the foundation of all relationships, including buying and selling, not to mention our marriage. Yes it is given, but we all raised in different homes and backgrounds, where trust may differ from one house to another. Yet marriage is about oneness and without oneness, there is no marriage, and here where trust play the big role of bringing two different people with one heart and one goal. Basically Trust builds your relationship.

So, it is given, yet once it is broken, it is hard to repair. Do NOT panic. First things first, Knowledge your mistakes and express your love.. Second, show regret and express love. Third, Show understanding (these things take time to heal) and also express love, Forth work toward regaining trust, and express love.

The important thing is to keep on expressing love to your spouse. Work toward regain his or her trust is the only way to make your marriage relationship grow. once a trust is broken, It won't be given to you. You need to gain it back...yet you need to do all this with love.

Life is about taking one chance after another, just like taking one step after another into the unknown. We learn from mistakes we have made in the past and, therefore, learn from them to prevent ourselves from hurting our spouse in the future. So take the four steps I mentioned and don't try to expect too much right away. You would cause more harm, than good by expecting fast healing from your spouse, NEVER express frustration with him or her for not healing fast enough.

Remember though keep watering your trust tree and fix those cracks because without the foundation of trust in a marriage, there won't be marriage. So take the risk or building your relationship every day by allowing your spouse to trust you and feel trust worthy.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Boys trips to Montreal.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Couples: Repent, Simply Repent!!

Simply repent of not noticing the small things that your spouse does for you and not appreciating them for it.

Simply repent of holding your spouse to a higher standard for men and women you see in movies.

Simply repent for every time you didn't communicated your feeling to your spouse and enabled your relationship to reach a deeper meaning.

Simply repent of holding on forgiving your spouse and love him/her.
Know that love heals much more than any thing else.

Simply repent for not praying for your spouse every single day to allow the Lord to guide and protect them. A woman told me once "In my wedding vows, I committed to pray daily for my husband, and the most effective way he communicates love to me is when he prays for me

Simply repent of thinking only of the negative things about your spouse. Even when it is hard, renew your mind with positive thoughts about him or her.
Many people believe that love start in the heart, but the truth is the Love LIVED in mind.

The bible tells us that we should be "transformed by the renewing of the mind that we may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." (Romans 12:2)

Wow, renewing our mind is doing God's will, and it is prefect... that is an eye opener...

Simply repent of not meeting your spouse needs and waiting for him or her to meet your needs first. Be willing to to give first.

Simply repent of living a phony way of love and not following what real love is. Love is patient, not self seeking, forgiving. etc

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, ...1 Corinthians 13

Simply repent of comparing your spouse to your friend spouses and wanting them to become the same.

Simply repent for not encouraging your spouse every day and pushing them to look forward every day to look after their family. If you can't find reason to encourge them, make up reasons.

Simply repent for being passive when you action was needed to restore the relationship with you spouse but your pride took control of you.

Simply repent for the things you may have said in anger even before your spouse point them out.

Repentance is a change of direction. Are you willing to turn around and become positive force in your marriage?

Romans 2:5 But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God

Give your spouse all your best with a happy heart. Don't be cheap with him or her. Allow your relationship to grow, don't be a dead branch in the Lord's body. Do his will.

Monday, September 21, 2009

1 on 1 with Teri, Part two

In this part of the interview, let even get closer to Tari and find more about her marriage relationship and life.

But first let me ask her about her daughter.

So interesting that your daughter has a blog at her young years? please comment and tell us how this came about?

We live pretty far away from all our family so they don’t get to see all of her drawings and papers from school. So a blog for her seemed a great way to encourage her to write and to share with our families what she’s doing. She loves reading the comments and that spurs her to write more.

What do you think of marriage? and how you describe yours? I love being married! I describe mine as “happily ever after … mostly.” Being married is the hardest thing in life … but also the most wonderful. I married my very best friend and we get to do ministry together (he even gets paid for it! LOL) ... it just doesn’t get better than that!

If there is any advice you would like to give to newlywed, what it would be?

1. Fight fair. 2. Always kiss good-bye. 3. Give, even when you don’t want to.

I always say that a marriage with difficulties is a living marriage? What are your thoughts?How you deal with conflict? Totally agree with that statement … when I hear people say they never fight or disagree in their marriage, I figure they must not talk much. J Scott and I have learned to deal with conflict better the longer we are married … mainly, I think it’s just important to remember that sometimes your opinion doesn’t matter and that you don’t HAVE to have the last word. Sometimes it’s better to leave something unsaid than to live with the regret of saying it aloud.

In your years of marriage, what did you find about the wife’s role in the man’s life? How she can influence?Wow … I think the greatest gifts I give to my husband are my undying respect and unwavering prayers. Because I deeply respect him, I think it’s easier for him to share the difficulties he faces with me and to allow me to be his biggest encourager. And I have learned that often my prayers are the tool God uses to influence my husband … back to that whole thing of not HAVING to say everything. I’ve learned that sometimes I just have to pray and leave it with the Lord!

What is the current book you are reading? Calvin Miller’s autobiography “Life is Mostly Edges” and several books on the spiritual disciplines.

Tell us about your ebook? What is your goal for it?
It’s just a little book of encouragement. I wanted to have something to give to the people who joined me in celebrating my 100th post on “Pleasing to You” … but I wanted it to be in keeping with my desire to be an encourager and to help people learn to see life through a lens of gratitude and passion. My goal? Hmmm … to finish it! LOL Really, I just hope it is an encouragement and that people will want to share it with others because it was a blessing to them.

Being a pastor wife? Good or bad? hard or easy? Good … hard … worth every bit of it!

Teri, Thank you so much for giving us the honor to have you here, and allowing us to get to know, and learn from you. God bless you.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

1 on 1 with Teri. Part One

Let me first start off this post by stating what a pleasure and honor it is to have Teri the author of great blog titled "Pleasing to you". I first came across her blog by a chance. I have to say that my first impressions of her blog was like talking to someone from my family members, very comfortable and easy going. Definitely very encouraging.

In Part one, we are going to get closer to Teri and try to find more about her ministry, family, and her life.
In the second part, we will talk about relationship and marriage and listen to her advice.

How would you introduce yourself to others?
I’m just a girl who loves Jesus and is doing my best to know Him and be conformed to Him more every day. I wear a lot of hats – wife, mom, community volunteer, blogger, pastor’s wife, but mostly I’m just a daughter of the King.

If you could summarize your live in one word, what would it be and why? HUGE! My life is so much bigger than I ever dreamed it would be. I cannot imagine sometimes that God has given me so many blessings and passions … and amazing opportunities to serve Him.

Why did you start blogging and how you find time for it?
I started blogging a couple of years ago … I’ve been through four different blogs but finally feel I have “found my voice.” I love to teach the Word and to write and blogging gave me opportunity to share what God is showing me with my friends and family. As for the time it takes, I have this amazing husband who believes this is my ministry and supports my dream to write and teach. That makes it much easier to give blogging a priority in my life. Generally, though, I write a full week’s worth of posts at a time usually on Thursday nights.

Why do you call your blog "Pleasing to You"?My life verse and heart’s cry is Psalm 19:14 ~ “May the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart be PLEASING TO YOU, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” My goal and desire is to encourage others who long to live a life that is pleasing to God.

What inspires you, and how you come up with ideas for your blog?I’m a reader … I read three or four books at a time. Often my ideas come from that. But I also find myself constantly looking at how God is working in the daily tasks of my life. That’s what sparked my “Finding Jesus in My Messy House” devotions. I realized that just like there’s always a pile of laundry to do, there is also always a need for me to keep check on my speech

What do these words mean to you?
God ~ Faithful to me regardless of my faithfulness to Him.
Suffering ~ Necessary to become like Christ … “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance” James 1:2 - 3
Little things ~ I think the little things make the big things more meaningful.
Wisdom ~ Comes only from the Lord!!
Mistakes ~ Grace!
Doubt ~ I’ve struggled with doubt at various times in my Christian walk and found that God has always been willing to guide me and reveal Himself to me when I earnestly seek Him.
Husband ~ Best friend!

I read that you have passion of knowledge, how you go about it?
I guess that goes back to the reading thing … I find myself drawn to the kind of books that I have to read a paragraph three or four times in order to let it soak in. I love studying the Word of God and reading biographies of those whose lives reflect a great faith. I was a debater in high school and college and that deep love of knowledge and study has never faded!

Teri, thank you for willing to be a guest on my blog and encourage me and my readers. I really enjoyed chatting with you. It is so pleasent to heart to hear from you.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Couples: Do not what is your duty!

Jesus called us to do what is his love but what is not our duty...

Did you ever wonder why Jesus didn't say 'Love Your Neighbour'? But he said, "Love your enemies"

"But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" - Jesus of Nazareth, as recorded in Matthew 5:44 (NIV translation)

I tell you why, because it is so easy to love the ones who love us and care for us.

Our society tough us never turn the other cheek, never ignore the pain or hurt of other, neither taught us to love who hurt us.

This past Sunday, during the Sunday school class I teach, Caren (Sunday school teacher) spoke about how we are called to do not due what is our duty. If someone ask you to walk a mile, walk two. If some one asks for your cloth, give them every thing. If someone hurt us, we are called to love them, not to hurt them back....

Those words touched my heart,,, what about our spouses, don't we suppose to love them, care for them, protect them... How come we end up doing what is our duty and not listen to what God told us.

Many times we get caught in the moment and never think of the painful moment as an opportunity to express love and show love. Jesus did that. He thought of that, he asked us to do so. Express love when least expected, so that we be following his foot steps.

Right after I finished Sunday school, I went to listen our our Pastor sermon. He also was talking about love.

Here what he was talking about
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1)

Many times we do things to our spouses out of duty and not our of caring and love. We marry them, we cook for them, we clean for them, we drive them, we provide for them. But all our of duty, not our of love. The verse we just read is so powerful. It talks about how all our work is done in vein if we don't do it out of love.

Many of us do all that work and wait for appreciation, or wait to be served back. Many feel so over whelmed. All because we do things out of duty and not our love.

When conflict come, we tend to stand up right and hold the other person wrong and never show love. Many times our standard is much more important than love. We forget that Loving them is more important. We tend to leave them, ignore them when they are sick. Avoid confrontation or even conversion when it most needed. We forget that A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Here is the advise that I need and will pass on to you as well. I read this in a book I am currently reading. It is called The Practice of the Presence of God. He says, "be governed by love without selfish views, make the love of God the end of all your action" Very tough one...

What a powerful words... my actions are a expressions of God's love and I got to make the best of it... It should be easy when it is toward our spouses or partners, but we fail many times. Yet, we got to try. Remember, Love is much greater power than standard and rules. Do what is not your duty.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Break Free Youth Conference

What a great time we spent last month in the youth conference. God blessed us with a great topic. Break Free was the title. We learned how to let go of our false self and realize our true self in God.
Easy step is to see where we come from and put it against the light of God's word.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Couples: Football & Fashion, Can they meet?

Did you know that most of us stop discovering their spouse right after the wedding day?

See, once we find someone we like and we start dating and engagement period, we keep on trying to know as much as possible about them. The reason behind it is that we want to make sure that person really is a good match with us.

Once we get married, the exploring and searching stop,,, we know he or she is a match,, so we stop....!! Can this make any sense?

You and I need to realize that knowing one another does not stop at the alter, it starts there. The journey start there. You need to know that you only discovered a skin thin area of your spouse and there a lot more to know.

You hear so much about communication and how it is important to marriage...So, how will you communicate to someone you don't even know?

What are you going to do when there is no more words to say or things to talk about?

Do you see it as an investment...? Did you put the effort...? You and your spouse are two different worlds that must meet, football and fashion must meet..

Here is an example?
Ladies, did you ever think of learning a little more about football as a way to communicate to your husband and live in his world?

Men, did you ever think learning more about fashion and decor is a way to communicate with her....?

What are you going to do when the outer beauty fails after 10 years of marriage, and there is nothing that interest either one of you in each other?

What are you going to be talking about when you turn 50"s
Especially since outside beauty is only temporary.

A girl's gotta have a Plan B.
A woman once said "that's why I've perfected my football toss, and learned to bake, operate power tools, and read above a fifth grade level. Cuz nobody in their 60's looks good in thigh high fishnets and black garters."

We need a deeper meaning for our relationships, and deeper reason to relate to one another than just love. Because love is just a word in vacuum unless you fill this vacuum with more loving communications.

Continue to discover your spouse, find ways to know more and more. Ask about his or her childhood, likes, dislikes, interests, any and every thing. If you wondering why aren't you talking to each other enough, maybe because you didn't take a interest knowing what he or she likes. Take an action now and don't wait til there are no more words to say. Reach out to your spouse and create a friendship that will last a life time.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Who do you turn to?

Last Wednesday Moody took me out on a date, while he was driving on the highway I was looking out of the window. Looking at each car passing by, looking at the drivers of each car passing by. There was someone who looked mad and was furious to get to his destination, there is someone that is just singing along to the radio, there is a mom who was trying to quiet down her kids so she can drive, there was someone who just looked extremely tired and had a long day..…...etc.

While I was looking at each driver, the thought of them having their own life and problems came to my head. If I was upset or feeling down, there are way many more people feeling the same or even much worse. But the question is….Who does each person turn to?? You could turn to the TV, shopping, eating, etc. No matter who or what you turn to in the world, it will never fully satisfy you and will never make you feel any better. The real JOY is when we turn to Jesus…...when you be right related to God, you will always find your joy there.

"That my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full." John 15:11

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

What's the good of prayer?

This was the title of my devotion today....What do you expect when you pray?? Do you expect the world to change around you to what you want it to be? Do you expect every thing to go your way? Do you expect your spouse to be extremely nice to you every second of the day every day and never does anything that frustrates you? That is not what prayers are for!!!!

When I was reading my devotion today, there is a sentence that really opened my eyes about prayers...it said: "Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man's disposition." Right after reading this sentence it reminded me of the verse that says "I can do everything through him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13. Where "I can do" in this verse means that I can bare all the tough situations that I am in, while prayers work in me and it also helps me bare what is around and go over any obstacles I face. Prayers do not necessarily change the person or situation in front of me but it changes me and the way I look at things.

Next time when you pray do not expect magic to happen in your outside world; however, expect magic to happen in the inner you.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Couples: Rebirth your Love

Here is a word of advise, making good memories with your partner are very important. Did you ask me why....?

Well, lesson learned that when one of us not feeling so great and maybe hurt by the other a great sweet memory come very handy.

What a great idea to jump back on track when we remember sweet memory that we made come together.

Of course, you need to have the attitude of wanting to be in good terms with your partner and want to reconcile. What an amazing gratitude when you accompany it with a great memory of your spouse. It feels just like someone giving me back my breath. It is like reigniting your love once again.

So, here what I say, go back search in your memories to find sweet moments of your relationship and use them to restart your love once again in order to get back on track.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Couples: Break Free of False Self.

Last weekend the youth in our church got together with another 100 more from around the USA. We came together to talk seriously about how to break free. The topic was amazing, it was about breaking free from our false self in order to claim our true self which God planed for us.

He went on defining the two, false self is what the society, environment, family tend to make of us or mold us to be, and true self is what God ultimately planned for us want to mold us to be.

Dr. Awasm talked about a great thing that we should all do as couples. When conflict happens between any couple, there is a need for attention. We need to pay attention in order to find out what is the need of our spouse. When someone seems angry our mad of the other there is two responsibilities we need to take care of:

First:the person who did wrong needs not to be so taken by how much the other person is angry or mad, as much as paying attention to respond to the need of restoring the hurt feelings.

Second: The person who is hurt, needs to pay attention to the person who hurt him/her to find out why he or she did that? Was there any reasons for what he or she did?

He encouraged us to always have those secret conversions with our selves to examine ourselves before we run to claim we are right and the others are wrong.

It is definitely a call of being selfless. A call to two people to become more like one. A marriage that seeks the happiness of the other before self and gives the benefit of the doubt to others before making a judgement.

My lesson is not to rush quickly and claim that I am hurt from something, and listen and question my self and circumstance first.